I plead guilty yer 'onner for releasing christmassongs II, I would like the following offences to be taken into consideration: Rudolph the red nosed reindeer Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw him, you would even say it glows. You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place. Little Donkey Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his equine rights. We Three Kings We three kings of Orient are Bearing gifts we traverse afar Field and fountain, moor and mountain Following yonder star Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc, gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient’s name or perhaps give a gift voucher. We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC route finder or satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves. Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed - Contact Social services immediately!!!! On a more serious note we regually see gripes about our profession taking a knock how about using these funnies to poke back on a training theme and especially in the press. We put ourselves in line of fire with the conker challenge so why not with the funnies sneaking estimated no. of injuries prevented? A bit early but, MERRY (& Safe) XMAS everyone Badger

Smurf Didn't want to lose the link I had found. Anyway, we now know where The Wogan has been lifting his naff steak 'n Hasty stories from if hes' lifted from my first posting on the subject. Badger