Posted By Merv Newman
Brian
from bitter experience, I have learned a few lessons.
1. Start them late - not at midday but from about 7PM
2. Try to divorce them from a work activity - a senior manager could invite his friends to a saturday evening celebration, dress and attendance totally optional.
3. Apperitive (how do you spell that ?)and wine on the table, then a paying bar. LOTS of food to soak up the LIMITED wine. Lots of designer water on the tabels.
4. 11.30 close down because the bar staff have to go home.
5. Paid taxis or a coach driver who knows the area and where to drop everyone off.
6. Don't do it at the office, nor at an hotel - reserve a decent restaurant for the whole evening. With possibilities for dancing, if possible.
7. Keep the tone friendly and light - it should not be an occasion for sorting out the boss, pulling (or pushing) the secretary or for getting totally bombed. - we are celebrating the end of a good year and looking forward to an even better one.
Now for the memories -
* XMAS party in Tussaudes wax works(how do you spell that) free booze, free food, most of the security guards got fired for being drunk on duty and we all sang dirty songs about our bosses (also in the coach) all the way home. With no reprisals as they were as bombed as the rest of us.
* XMAS party at whipsnade zoo - Brilliant, great fun following above guidelines and we all sang cockney songs "Rabbit, rabbit, you dont arf rabbit" (Bill and Dave ?) and something about "knocking off the 'andles (bernard cribbens ?) dedicated to our bosses (no reprisals, just as bombed)
Nobody tried to ride the rhino.
* XMAS party with the local police force. Started early, finished late, not much food, just bottles of spirits donated by local publicans. An inspector punched out by a constable, a case of, let us say "sexual harrassement" on the billiard
table, and everyone eventually escorted home by patrol cars with flashing lights, one in the front, one behind, 30 mph max. Wouldn't want to have an accident, would we ?
Take your pick.
D'you know, nostalgia aint 'arf wot it used ter be.
Merv Newman