Posted By Zoe Barnett I've just read a Dalziel and Pascoe novel in which a fire inspection is carried out on a concert hall. In the book it describes the inspector: "wearing that "have-we-got-trouble-here" expression which is the first thing safety inspectors learn at college." It made me smile but it also made me think - what is the best bit of training or advice you've been given in your time as a safety advisor? I don't mean this wholly frivolously - it could be useful to anyone studying or just beginning a career in H&S although hopefully it will throw up some gems as well. I'll start it off - a wise old colleague told me to always prefix a statement with "in my opinion". That way if I was wrong it was less likely to backfire on the company. Any others?

Posted By David J. "Try not to become too cynical" with apologies to Karen!!!!

Posted By Anita Parkinson common sense is not common!

Posted By Mark Glynn Thomas 'Presume nothing'

Posted By Laurie I refer my Honourable Friend to the answer I gave on 18 August (Mantra for Safety Professionals) "That which is not written down has not been said"! Laurie

Posted By Mike Miller Remember sod's law! If it can be done, someone will do it! Mike

Posted By Sam Rawcliffe I was once told "never ASSUME anything because you'll end up making an ASS of U and ME".

Posted By Hilary Charlton Best piece of advice I ever got was from my brother when I was learning to drive - however, this piece of advice is very useful in health and safety and indeed other aspects of life - it is very simple:- "Anticipate" Hilary

Posted By Mark Bywater I remember the Ken Woodward video where he says "Plan everything!" and one when you are considering a purchase of equipment - "The bitterness of poor quality lasts long after the sweetness of low price." And one that served me well through my years in the RAF and still holds true today, from my father is - Don't put your finger anywhere you wouldn't put your "male appendage". (Moderated by myself). Mark

Posted By Heather Aston I remember the safety advisor I learned from in the early days telling me: 1. Always write everything down 2. Remember H&S is a practical subject, you can't do a good job sitting in the office. 3. Never take anything for granted. Heather

Posted By John Allen I always remember a lecture by Trevor Kletz at Aston in 1978(!)on the subject of risk assessment. He concluded that it could be summed up in six words - "How big? How often? So What?" Whenever I've been in doubt I've always returned to this first principal.

Posted By steve williamson An old engineer with all his fingers intact told me "never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your d***". Excellent maxim to follow when specifying guarding! Cheers, Steve

Posted By Nigel Hammond I'm still learning but my advice to someone starting out would be: 1. Don't assume others share your enthusiasm. Many would rather have a tooth extraction than write a risk assessment! So learn the art of selling and manipulating. 2. Most of the time, legislation is irrelevant. Always try to find better reasons to persuade someone to take action - rather than trying to sound authoritative by quoting regulations. Positive reasons are best. 3. Health & Safety should be taken seriously but don't be too serious. Have fun when explaining things to people. No one wants to listen to a boring old fart!

Posted By Karen Todd Some more: "Trust your instincts", or, "Trust yourself, you're usually right". E.g. I looked at a pile of steel one day that was going for galvanising. I thought to myself, "Hmm, I don't think that'll fit in the galvanising bath (even being double dipped)". I went in to phone the galvanisers to check the size of their bath only to be told by our receptionist, "Robert (MD) is already ahead of you. He checked and it does fit in the bath". I rang to double check and gave them the length of the longest bit - it didn't fit. In fact there were 4 bits that didn't fit. My boss had given them the length of one of the shorter bits. So, I saved the day by arranging for it to go to another galvanisers with a big enough bath, but I'm sure you can imagine whose fault it would still have been if all the steel had gone to the original galvanisers and not fitted in the bath...or maybe I should have just let it! ;) Karen

Posted By Zoe Barnett One I heard on Terry Wogan: Before lowering the underpants of life, check the lavatory paper of experience...

Posted By Andy Stocks Another useful addition!!? A fable with two morals....even Aesop would struggle to do that! THE DONKEY One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey. He invited all his neighbours to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly. Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up. As the farmer's neighbours continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off! Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up. Remember the five simple rules to be happy: 1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive. 2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen. 3. Live simply and appreciate what you have. 4. Give more. 5. Expect less NOW -------- Enough of that crap . . . The donkey later came back, and bit the [expletive deleted] out of the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock. MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON: When you do something wrong, and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you. You have two choices...smile and close this page, or pass this along to someone else to spread the fun. I know what I did!!

Posted By Kevin Walker when you start having to quote legisation you've already lost.

Posted By Alec Wood Don't blag. If you don't know then postpone answering until you do. Some might THINK you a fool; If you blag and you are wrong, everyione will KNOW you are. When you find a non-conformance in your area of responsibility, do not report it as a failure, instead congratulate yourself on your detection and internal auditing procedures which were efficient enough to catch it before it caused anyone any harm. Safety shoes are not as unfashionable as Nike's covered in blood. Alec Wood

Posted By Kevin stone Bit crude but it has kept me in good health (also toned down for a family audiance!!) Never put hands where you wouldnt put your privates!!!!! Cheers Kev.

Posted By Mike Craven There was a little bird that had fallen out of a tree into field, breaking a leg and a wing; it couldn't walk properly or fly away. It was cold, it started to rain, the bird was cold, wet and unhappy. It felt sad and miserable. A cow came over. It stood over the bird, the bird was now cold, wet, unhappy and in the dark. The cow sh*t on the bird. The poor little bird felt dreadful. The sun came out, the cow walked away, the cow pat covering the bird dried, the bird felt warm, cozy and comfortable. It started to sing merrily. A cat heard it singing, came along, pulled the bird out of the cow-pat and ate it!! The moral of the story?...It's not always your enemy who puts you in the sh*t and it's not always your friend who pulls you out. But, when you are in it, for heavens sake KEEP QUIET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Actually told to me about 20 years ago by the union's national president when I was a young new trade union (safety) rep on my first training course) Mike