Posted By Charley Farley-Trelawney I am indebted to all that participated in my recent thread regarding my Daughter and her falling pregnant. Thanks for the amazingly humorous personal responses, yes I used the wrong words, perhaps fallen for a baby or something else more suitable but you got the gist and I thank you. The many personal congratulations on becoming a Gramps early next year were accepted with much gratitude by the author of the thread. I find myself requiring some further advice; it is of such a horrific and personal matter that quite frankly I do not know who to turn to. My Daughter and Hubby have come here for a weekend visit, much tears and general upset has revealed that she has become a serious victim of stress in the workplace by bullying tactics and worse, I cannot go into every detail for fear of her being identified, she is feeling quite awful at the moment as her immediate and ultimate SNCO is using her pregnancy to be as rude and derogatory to her as they can, he won't budge on her conducting and writing her own RA, he is being downright nasty regarding the pregnancy and suggesting it would be better all round is she lost the baby! And making every effort to reduce her to tears at every opportunity in front of other SNCO's, suggestions have been why not just leave, your not wanted here and the forces is no place for a female!!!! I apologise in advance for asking your help but I am to close to this one to be of much use, so is her husband, and it embarrasses the hell out of me to do this on a Public Domain, but what does she do? Complain? Where and how does she get proof? Not complain? And get suicidal It is a safety issue because of the stress implications and god forbid but fatalities have happened in the past over stress and bullying. She is not a child she is a grown woman and I know she is my Daughter but she has asked for help and I just don't know which way to turn. Even if I believe half of her tale it still leaves the other half! And yes this did start around 6 months ago so I now find out way before the bump came along its just that her emotions have changed and she can no longer cope with the bullying, this is the first I knew of this she has kept it to herself, the tears however tonight started the questions and Hubby said 'you may as well tell them' She has. Is there anyone out there with experience on protocol within the Armed Forces that can advise this advisor on what course of action may or may not be available to her? I have come across this a couple of times in the last 20 years and have dealt with it properly, as a H&S Manager/Director, I know therefore what should happen, but my knowledge of the forces is limited, and I am to close to this one to be really helpful. This is a plea for accurate and concise assistance from a qualified ex or current Forces H&S Officer or anyone with the same access to the answer. I thank you in advance A very sad Charles

Posted By bigwhistle Charley Contact the chief officer at the base yourself and inform him that unless he wants a deepcut style inquiry then his juniors better comply with both the law and behave in a manner befitting the Royal Air Force. If they dont budge follow it up with a solicitors letter with a copy to RAF headquarters.

Posted By Clairey O Hi Charley My feelings are definately with your family at this time, it should be a time for celebration. I can empthasize with what your daughter is experiencing, i was a victim of bullying adn excessive stress in the workplace from national chain of health clubs for whom i once worked for. I took me a while to realise that it was them and not me it was them. i spoke at great length with my family who were great, the eventually encouraged me to see my gp, who tried to prescribe me antidepressants, which i didn't really want. they gave me a coping mechanism but didn't solve the problem, i was then signed off work. shortly after that i left the company as it became too much for me to cope with. it has taken nearly a year to get my life back together, there are still moments when its really tough now, but my new boss is great. i would defiantely urge your daughter to speak the padre and family welfare officers. would speaking to one of the doctors help (i'm not too sure whether that would be a help or hindrance)? hope someone can offer better advice.

Posted By Gilly Margrave Hi Charley, I agree with everyone else that it is disgusting that what should be a very happy time is being ruined by a bully. Did you know that the RAF has its own harrassment helpline?? Details at http://www.rafcom.co.uk/...yment/discrimination.cfm Gilly

Posted By Charley Farley-Trelawney To one and all; may I thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the phone calls and personal emails and the information and comments you have made, it has given me hope that this appalling situation may yet be rectified. It is plainly obvious that this is not going to be easy, I am however determined that the health of my most beautiful Daughter and as yet unborn Grandchild will be very carefully considered and further thought will be made before taking the actions! They will be taken, and I am now in a much better position to advise her after your expert assistance. THANK YOU. Charles

Posted By PaulA Charley.. Congratulations on the news albeit rather tainted by the recent events.. As a serving member of the forces with 22 years behind me hopefully I can give you some advice.... Every unit has an 'Equal Opportunities Officer' that is asigned to deal with all issues relating to bullying, racial discrimination or otherwise.. He/she is duty bound to comply with a tri service manual called PLAYGO's. Personnel Legal & General Orders. The CO will be informd within 24 hours, he/she will nominate a Investigating Officer and it is of the utmost importance that a satisfactory conclusion is met soonest. I know of several instances where bulling has occured and I can honestly say that the bully has been dealt with severly! As a SNCO his feet would not touch the ground.. it would almost lead to demotion, in serious cases booted outside! The thing with verbal harrassment is 'its not what you say ..its how it is taken! I do hope you manage to sort it out. I would be disgusted if she is suffers further. The paperwork remains 'staff in confidence' and is held for 5 years to ensure that no further retributions occur at a later date. Should you require further advice please feel free to email me pallaway@virgin.net. I am working with the RAF in Iraq at present and have their full publications infront of me.. Kindest regards Paul

Posted By Charley Farley-Trelawney Again, I must continue to offer my deepest gratitude for the continuing telephone calls and personal emails, I am so busy sifting through the plethora of information that has been provided I have been unable to reply personally to every email, please accept my apologies I will get back to you, for the moment however please accept OUR continuing thanks; geeez I wish there was a bigger word than thanks! Charles

Posted By Neville Charley Just as an aside to all the comments that have gone before, and the input that I gave earlier, did you know: In the 1980s, the armed forces, and particularly the Royal Air Force, used to show the door to all regular serving females who became pregnant. Dispicable don't you thin? Common prcatice then. I served for 30 years and my wife was a nurse with the services too. Things have come a long way since then but this particular SNCO that you refer to has not come out of the dark ages yet, it would seem! Best of luck with sorting it out for her. Neville

Posted By Adrian Blundell Charley. As a serving member of the armed forces I am shoked by the way in which your Daughter is being treated. Short of making a formal complaint against the SNCO concerned, I know of some options that I would advise someone who came to me with this problem. An inconfidence chat to the Chaplian can have wonderful results. As can a chat with the services family services. (Our social workers - they punch far higher than there weight would seem possible.) As both of these actions could easily cause more abuse the following may work, accept the task of doing the RA. Take the whole RA to the station H & S officer and ask advice on how to fill out the forms and explain the she is only doing the RA as she feels bullied into it. I know the RN have very strict rules on all forms of harassment. If I can be of any more help please e-mail me and I will help all I can. Adrian.

Posted By Jonathan Sandler I would go to the Soilder Mag and see if they would publish your daughters story. It would be worth it. Basicly as ex forces I would like to see the forces brought into line!!!!