Rank: Guest
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Posted By Andrew Cartridge
I don't know if it's factual, but it is funny:
The Gripe Sheet
After every flight, pilots fill out a form called a gripe sheet, which
conveys to the mechanics any problem they had with the aeroplane during
the flight. The mechanics read and correct the problem, and then explain
in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action was taken.
The pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it
be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humour. Here are
some actual maintenance problems submitted by Qantas pilots and the
solutions recorded by maintenance engineers. By the way, Qantas is the
only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineer.)
P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet-per-minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.
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Rank: Guest
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Posted By gham
Im sorry i could not resist a quick google search
"It is often claimed, most notably in the 1988 movie Rain Man, that Qantas has never had a fatal crash. However, the company's official line is that it has never lost a "jet" aircraft. Prior to the jet era, Qantas had fatal crashes. One was on 16 July 1951, when De Havilland Drover VH-EBQ crashed in New Guinea after an engine failure, killing all seven passengers and crew. Other fatal accidents occurred in 1927, 1934, 1942, 1943 (×2), and 1944.
Qantas' record in the jet era was spotless until Boeing 747-400 VH-OJH, carrying 407 passengers and crew, over-ran the runway by 220 metres, ending up in a golf course, while landing in a rainstorm at Bangkok on 23 September 1999. [1] There were no fatalities; however, the Australian Transport Safety Bureau criticised numerous inadequacies in Qantas' operational and training processes. [2] Repairs to the nine-year-old aircraft were undertaken in Bangkok and China at a cost in excess of A$100 million, believed to be the most expensive in history. The aircraft had suffered extensive damage to landing gear, engines and engine pylons and the front fuselage and it was widely suggested at the time that it should have been written-off. Qantas denied that pressure had been applied to insurers to avoid a hull-loss being recorded so that the airline's safety record would remain intact. The following year 747-300 VH-EBW was damaged when its landing gear collapsed while taxiing at Rome. It also returned to service after repairs.
On 21 August 2005, an incident occurred involving Qantas Airbus A330-300 VH-QPE with 178 passengers and 13 crew aboard. The aircraft made an emergency landing at Kansai Airport in Osaka, Japan after an indication of smoke in the cargo hold. The Osaka Control Tower reported seeing smoke on landing, so an emergency evacuation was declared as a precaution and emergency slides were deployed. Nine passengers were injured and hospitalised. Subsequent investigation found no sign of smoke or fire, and it is believed that the cargo fire sensors were faulty. The aircraft was only 15 months old at the time of the incident.
On 2 February 2006, a Qantas Boeing 767-300ER VH-OGH, carrying 155 passengers and 11 crew, and a United Airlines 747-400, carrying 99 passengers and 14 crew, were involved in a collision while on the runway at Melbourne Airport. The Qantas aircraft sustained damage to a horizontal stabiliser while the United aircraft damaged a wingtip. United released a statement saying its flight 840 from Melbourne to Los Angeles "reported a wingtip touch with a Qantas aircraft as it taxied". No passengers were injured in the incident"
Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qantas
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Rank: Guest
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Posted By Andrew Cartridge
Gham
You must be bored!!
Andy
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Rank: Guest
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Posted By Brett Day
Just to add to the pedantry, I wonder how or why a civillian aircraft would have a targeting radar on it??
Do they come under some sort of reserve scheme?
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