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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Colleagues.
I feel the profession needs a radical image overhaul.
Let me paint a picture. In the past, when socialising at parties the conversation will always wind around to what you do for a living.
" I'm a health and safety professional" you say in a mumble.
Watch as they regard you with all the affection of a VAT inspection on Christmas morning. What makes it worse is when you try and defend the job and explain how proud it makes you feel to help protect people, how interesting it is , how rewarding..but you have already lost them.
Its a Playstation Generation folks, if we don't grab their attention in the first few seconds we will never hold their interest.
So, my solution is to change the polarity of our image.
Now when someone asks me what I do I say " Me" pause for dramatic effect ", I'm a Danger Expert". Its not a lie we are experts in danger and how to avoid it.
"Oh" they gasp "a danger expert, whats that?"
" If we come across anything dangerous, they call me in to deal with it and train the guys" I say in an off hand fashion as though it is a mere trifle to deal with danger on a daily basis.
" Wow Jeff that sounds really interesting tell me more" says the awestruck party goer keen to hear your war stories.
In my humble opinion it is the way forward. Please feel free to discuss/block/moderate/purge from the record as you see fit.
Jeff Watt IODE
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Posted By AlB
Interesting.
"Hi. I'm Alan. I'm a Danger Expert"
I like it!!!
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Posted By Al..
I like it too - this grabs my attention - sign me up for IODE
Al
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Posted By Andrew Cartridge
Jeff
Great idea, we could substitute PPE for mask & cape (as long as the mask conforms to BS EN166B & the cape to BS EN 471 Class 3 & both are CE marked) Isn't Friday fun?
Andy
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Posted By Paul Leadbetter
Who's going to be the first to wear their underpants on the outside?
Paul
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Andy "faster than a speeding bullet" Cartridge
44 calibre of course.
Jeff
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Posted By Mint
Love it!
I will try it this weekend. I'm going to London tomorrow for a cultural day visiting public houses of historical significance. Talk of being a Danger Man is bound to elicite a few pints from a captive and awe struck audience.
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Paul
On the outside of what? I wear mine when I'm outside all the time.
Jeff
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Posted By Paul Leadbetter
LOL
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Posted By garyh
I have told people that I am a "Risk Manager". Not my title, but an accurate description. It does sound sexier than Safety Manager.
I confess; once I was a Safety "Officer" - this title instantly presents you as a legislation spouting, clipboard clutching prat!
I think that to change our image, all male safety profesionals should have pierced ears and tattoos. Females should adopt a sort of punk look. We should wear a t shirt with "accidents are ****" on.
Truly though, we are a profession of grey middle aged men in suits...............go to any Safety group gathering and this is true. There is the odd younger person, some females breaking the mould, but generally it's a grey picture.
However all clients and employers seem to expect this to be how we look and act!
We can't win.
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Posted By Jasonjg
Well I kind of agree with you about the words Health and Safety, maybe it is a younger persons thing but it does go down like a stone to many but it depends on what environment your in also.
To me Health and Safety gives the false ideological impression that all should be perfect and yet in real life it is not, so straight away it is a defensive game.
I am kind of leaning myself towards the phrase Risk rather than H&S.
A Risk trainer sounds much better than a Health and Safety trainer IMO and from the rare pub & party chatter I come across. Well I don’t actually disclose my occupation at parties as I am usually the one on the floor flat out drunk and making an idiot of himself playing dare games.
The word Risk comes across that it is obvious risks are about and risk should be managed. It draws attention and curiosity because people then tend to think about what is risk? No one wants to be associated with risk as it indicates they are liabilities.
Health and Safety comes across to me as an Ideological crusade to rid the world of anything that can possibly cause harm. People automatically stereotype it as a profession for dweeds in tweeds talking about worse case scenarios all of the time. Total downers and they are out there.
Now we all have our own way of getting messages across, I am not usually that bad with shop floor but lack enough experience with higher management. Again the words risk seem to draw more attention yet here it needs to be financial, hard numbers and facts and not ideological threats of manslaughter charges etc. I will definitely be looking for courses that help me produce good cost benefit arguments rather than compliance with regs etc.
Anyway, I like risks better than H&S, whether it is valid or not, I do not know.
Am I wrong?
Jason
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Posted By Andrew Cartridge
Jeff
Spot on, would we all have to adopt aliases, I think I,ll be "Stop That Man" what about everybody else?
Andy
PS : Hope you liked the badge
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Jason/Gary
Stop flipping dithering with Risk when you could be a
!!!!Danger Expert!!!!
You know it makes sense guys, get started on your job description changes now.
Jeff Watt FMIODE
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Posted By Mint
"I think that to change our image, all male safety profesionals should have pierced ears and tattoos."
I already have those attributes (plus a couple of other piercings). Does that mine I'm a 'trendy' Danger Expert? :-)
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Andy
The badge was great, can you do another with the full FMIODE title.
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Mint
A common misconception is that the Danger Expert is trendy. This is a easy mistake to make as our training allows us to fit in anywhere but we are more a force of nature rather than a trend.
I think you have the makings of an A1 Danger Expert. Got any spare tenners, I promise to burn them like your supposed to after recycling them a few times.
Right fellow DE's, off to prevent harm in downtown suburbia.
Jeff "More Power" Watt.
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Posted By garyh
I confess to having a pierced ear and tattoo. However as I have an elevated position! I never reveal these things at work.............people couldn't cope with the image being different to their perception of what they expect to see.
I am going to a meeting now, suit and tie on, no earring or tattoo visible......
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Posted By Glyn Atkinson
Going on from image, before I moved across to this vocation, I was contracting for a year at the Glaxo, Stevenage construction site, early 90's.
The main construction safety advisor was the full effect Hells Angel archetype, almost full body tattoos, big Harley as a site vehicle, shaved head except for a long thin ponytail, built like the large brick outhouse complete with Lemmy silver ring knuckledusters - am i painting this picture for you ??
Can't think why, but EVERY safety induction was 100% attended with no idle talking or interruptions, his safety inspections were NEVER postponed, and if he put down actions against a name - they WERE completed.
Total respect for that guy, image 100% wrong to most people's eyes, but totally effective in his work ethos - and personally respected site wide.
Never got to know his real name - he was Wolf to everyone - including the site phone directory - and probably another reason for thinking - if he can do this job, so can I, so I did !!
Oh, and no one ever asked him to wear underpants outside of the trousers !!
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Posted By Linda Crossland-Clarke
Oo oo
I'm a Dangerous girl!
Linda
SHE Knows DANGER
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Posted By Jasonjg
I just whipped up a Monty python themed poetic motto for our New Danger men (or Women)
In the face of Danger,
Will this man appear, (or Woman)
Stop say the Man, (or woman)
Here are some rules,
To which you should adhere,
Come forth his nemesis,
With production charts and gear,
You are slowing productivity,
Your views are not welcome here,
Danger man (or woman),
Glances with squinted eyes,
Here are some facts,
Not ideological lies,
Now we understand
They all say with glee
Thank you Danger Man (or woman)
You may have just saved me
Ok I am not going to make a famous poet so I will stick with what I do know. (not a lot) Have fun all.
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Posted By Linda Crossland-Clarke
Hi folks
So can we move on from the calender and do a video. We'll be on GMTV in no time!
Linda
SHE Knows, DANGER
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Posted By Nigel Hammond
Great Idea 'Danger Expert'. I seem to remember reading that the definition of danger is 'an unacceptable level of risk'. So this fits nicely. Isn't this what we are about - getting people to avoid crossing the border into the danger zone - while at the same time not being risk averse?
Of course this has to apply to chronic health related conditions - involving small exposures to hazards such as chemicals over a period of time - not just deadly electrics and falls from height. It would be nice if you can extend the term to cover this but I can't think how without making it sound dull! Also is there an alternative to 'expert' - adviser, coordinator and manager do not sound as sexy as expert but expert implies that you know everything there is to know about danger which is a bit dangerous!
Sorry but the term 'risk manager' is practically as dull as 'H&S adviser' - it sounds like some sort of insurance boffin.
Regards
Nigel, Danger Expert. CMIDE ("Chartered Member of the Institution of Danger Experts!")
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Posted By Andy Walker
Jason
How about leaping from behind a girder shouting
"No one expects the Danger Mans/Womans(Delete as applicable) inquisition" before severly chastising managers for the unsafe acts of their staff.
Andy
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Posted By Jasonjg
I got it
******Big Mother********
Half the contestants
Pro H&S
Other Half
Anti Nanny state (special guest we know who)
Set task for food rewards,
All in themes of safety, and maybe having the occasional minor injury and humiliation if not done right.
I think the Pro safety side will
A) Break the mold
B) Starve to death
I think the anti Nanny side
A)Throw the Pro H&S into all traps
B)Become Fat and look good
Right thats enough from me, back to revising.
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Posted By warderic
I was asked at a party by a pompous looking person "What do you do for a living old chap" Im a H&S Manager I replied, "dont you mean officer" "No" I replied "Im a manager" "whats the difference" 10k I replied. He didnt say a lot more.
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Posted By Glyn Atkinson
A quality thread for the mad get it all done Friday !!
Linda - no sudden name sake Wonder Woman outfits, please !!
I work in Hull and know the premises !!
Please pass on regards to David Bristow if he still works for you.
Ask him if he ever did hand that last assignment in - he was always at least two behind !!
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Posted By Glyn Atkinson
Oh, by the way, my alias will be John Drake - I take no prisoners, and live at number six !!
One for the older ones among us, I think!!
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Posted By Steve B
I will ask the guys on site on my next visit what they think my title should be....................
then again :( maybe not..... Ive heard some of them, cant understand half of them..... dont wanna know what the others mean...... but they all go home safe and happy.
Steve B
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Posted By Philby'
A classic thread...
I for one am up there and running with it...for those that know I already do not conform, although they're trying their damndest here, and used to get the 'respect through fear'
as for the monika, i'll just use my personal email one, aplay on the portakabin etc theme and a character in a book....
portamurda
when people ask I just say I'm a mobile/transportable assassin..now I'm a danger assassin, or something
Philby 'the raven'
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Posted By Philby'
psssst....
anyone seen the 'keep it safety' thread lately...its behind you!
and I thought the 'proffessional bit' was the password protected forum
I'm not bothering to respond to the last few threads on that forum, but they're trying to ruin our lives and give outsiders the impression that we ARE those boring H&S types
you have been warned!
portamurda/the raven/philby etc
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Posted By Andy Walker
Never, I say never, will I conform to the tweed and elbow patches. Keep Fridays for fun
Andy
The man with no clipboard
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Posted By Mike Draper
A while back I got introduced at a party by a friend as a "safety guy" - a play on the line in Pretty Woman.
More recently I was breakfast event and used a similar line to introduce myself. The guy I was talking to did an immediate double take - it turns out he used to be in the diplomatic service.
Danger Expert sounds different and it is fairly accurate, so I'll try that next time I'm out.
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
My slightly older sister was a fan of Patrick McGoohan as the original Danger Man but I don't remember the series the first time round.
A teacher colleague was running a social studies class in the early 1970's. He wanted to know what the apprentices favourite TV show was and why.
One guy said "I like yer man Dan German."
"I don't know that show," says the teacher "what's it about?"
"Well," starts the apprentice " it's about this boy that's kidnapped to an island and this big ball chases him".
The older amongst you will remember that the titles came up like this
DAN
GER
MAN
So totally logical. Bit of a location joke, you had to be there to fully appreciate it.
Jeff Watt
Code name "Dynamo"
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Siblings
Many have asked what grades of membership are available to the members of IODE. As we are a relatively new organisation we have two classifications for general members and a seperate title of Field Marshall that belongs to myself as President and chief returning officer.
The grades as is fitting to our different approach are not based on qualifications or experience those are assumed by stint of being an IOSH member. No we catagorise by attitude ( because it rhymes with dude).
Members of a helpful positive attitude are
CATHODE
Cheerful And Thouroughly Happy Occupational Danger Expert
Members of a cynical negative attitude are
ANODE
Alltogether Negative Occupational Danger Expert
I hope that is of use, and BTW the catagory of DIODE for electrical experts is too flippin obvious.
Jeff Watt FMIODE
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Posted By Linda Crossland-Clarke
Can we change RIDDOR to mean
Reporting of Incidents Done by Danger Operatives Regs
It could be a title of our best seller!
Linda
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Posted By Philby'
The series was 'The Prisoner' which was also a rather good Clash track...
what about 'odeios' (I know its spelt wrongly) for us thoroughly boisterous members
and just ode for the poetic
and bode for the negative ones
code for the cryptic...rode for the promiscuous....lode for the heavy set...
I'm bored now can I get off?
Philby/the raven/portamurda
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Aww yeah Philby good point.
"The prisoner" -- DANGER MAN was a different show entirely. Ah well you get the drift.
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Posted By Philby'
I'm back....(peace didnt last long did it)
liked Linda's so much I thought I'd 'chip' in...
'CDM' Concrete Danger Men regs
'DSEAR' Danger Sisters Explosive Archenemy Regs
actually there quite bad and I'm off home now cos mi head hurts
Portamurda
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Posted By Merv Newman
Came on this thread a bit late, sorry. (I've bin working, inni ?)
I'm meeting about 30 Americans tonight (Friendship group. Yeak, ok)and we're doing a booze-up and barn dance for 'em (including can-can demonstrations with invitations to show us how)and a sing-song. (oh happy day !)I might try my version of "The Red Flag" - "We'll keep the Red Wine flowing here !" Later perhaps. I'm still suffering from last night's Rock and Roll class.
If anyone asks, I'm going to give 'em "Danger Consultant" - "Oh yeah, fires, chemical contamination, contagious diseases, industrial accidents. Only one earthquake site so far. They call me. Have you heard of Buncefield ?"
(and no, I have nothing to do with Buncefield. But I didn't say I did, did I ?)
Real blasé ho hum stuff.
My old CB call sign (haven't used it for years) was "The Preventer")
Cheers
Greying Wolf
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Posted By Merv Newman
Andy Walker.
I regret that you have misplaced a comma in your recent posting. Please try to do better as we strive migtily to maintain proffesionnal standards on this site.
M
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