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Posted By Andy Walker
My humbles,t apologie,s I wil,l as,k Mrs W to severel,y chastis,e me late,r and ensur,e that all my futur,e comma',s are placed correctly.
Andy
Proffesional as ever
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Posted By Alan McKerns
I think you're all mad . . . which is great.
Enjoy your weekend refreshments.
Fresh meat "Danger Expert"
A
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Posted By Charley Farley-Trelawney
Mods; you is lickle angels for allowing the FROLICSOME FRIDAY FORUM! Long may it continue!
Chazza (death defying advising directing shout ya down LISTEN TA WAT YA HAV TO SAY H&S personage)
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Posted By Raymond Rapp
Just to get back to theme of the thread for a moment...prior to becoming a full-time health and safety professional, I was a train driver for my sins. There was a time (long time ago) when I was proud of being a train driver. However, in the last decade or so the railway industry has suffered from a lot of negative publicity. Eventually I got fed up with people making jokes and asking me 'what on earth was going on this morning with all those delays' when I was out socalising.
The point being, I never have the same problem saying that I am a h&s advisor. Okay, you get the odd smirk or comment. If it ever gets as bad as being a train driver I will give it all up! Alernatively I could adpot some other title like Stealth and Hasty Advisor.
Ray
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Posted By Hilary Charlton
OK, danger woman is good and I like it. However, I normally combat the question "what do you do for a living" by referring them to my husband who is a forensic scientist and then everyone goes "oh, that must be really interesting ... " and completely forgets they ever asked me - works every time!
Hilary
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Posted By Anne Smart
Jeff - thank you for starting this thread.
If you go to the news section of this site you will see how you, and those of you who posted responses here, inspired a letter to HR editors.
We've already had media coverage - to see for yourself, go to www.onrec.com and look for the title "What's in a name?" in today's issue.
Anne Smart, IOSH media and marketing assistant
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Posted By Jonathan Breeze
Darn...
I worked hard to cultivate my secret identity and now you've gone and blown it!
Mr Incredible
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Posted By Chris-A
Yay! I'm a "Danger Expert"
Thanks for the thread, it really made my day!
:D
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Posted By Derek Holt
OK, CV changed to danger expert, dagger proof cape ironed, makes a change to the usual umbrellas [to cover ones ....back of course].
How long before we start to see job adds for 'danger people' in SHP?
Jeff,
Good thread with a serious point and some humour thrown in. Anything that can dispand the in grained image of 'the health and safety person'works for me.
I am lucky in this regard as when asked what I do I can combine the H&S management funtion with my specilaism in Explosive Ordnance Disposal. Although this quite often throws people also, so it ends up being bomb disposal 'expert', I suppose this fits with danger expert?
A danger expert will need a suitable slogan, over to you....
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Posted By Merv Newman
I see it here,
I see it there,
I see some danger everywhere !
(with apologies to Baroness Orksy)
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Posted By Jonathan Breeze
How about:
"When danger calls... Call Danger Guy!"
PS I thought the rule was no capes - they might be an entanglement hazard.
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Posted By joanne doherty
fantastic....
just had my pdr last week, think I'll be making an ammendment, no longer wants to be health and safety advisor, now wants to be ...................
DANGER WOMAN!!
Nothing can harm ME when i'm in my hi vis n toe tecs!!
I'm sure my boss will be impressed
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Posted By el nino
Great idea! However Little Nino has cocked up the printing of my business cards which now read "Dangerous Expert".
El Nino
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Posted By DANGER RANGER
hahahahahahahaha heheheheheheheheheheheheeh hahahahahahahahahahahaha
I beat you all,
hahahahahahahaha heheheheheheheheheheheheeh hahahahahahahahahahahaha
EVIL always wins
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Hello folks
Looks like I have created a monster with Danger Ranger.
Well maybe monster facilitator, as I believe that we all have free choice to become what we want.
I appreciate the kind emails that folk have sent but I remember a very true saying from Eric Morecombe-
Don't clap, throw money.
Kind regards
Little Earn (local gov mortgage slave)a.k.a.Jeff Watt FMIODE
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Posted By Derek Holt
Jeff, I'll donate my dagger proof, anti-entanglement cape [worn for safety and to satisfy those who say the forum should stick to safety related issues only], but you can't have my stealth boots for creeping up on unsuspecting rule breakers and danger rangers.
They fight danger day to day,
facing fear they do not sway.
Hazards are a breeze [no pun intended Johnathan],
for they have the expertise.
They are the danger pro's,
who will triumph against their foes.
Need to recharge the danger detector power cells after that. Any recipes Merv?
Application for MIODE in the post, may take a while from East Russia though.
Onwards and upwards always.
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Posted By Andrew Cartridge
Dear Field Marshall
Having now been awarded the designatory letters ODE (Occupational Danger Expert) after my name, I use these with pride when going about my Danger Expert business.
However,I now find myself in the unfortunate position of having to lodge a formal complaint against the Institution as follows:
1. Where's my certificate?
2. Where's my tie?
3. Where's my badge?
4. Where's my pen?
For the institution to expect us to carry out our roles without the above, is tantamount to suicide, as we will not be taken seriously when carrying out our day to day Danger Expert duties.
I would appreciate any feedback from other members if they have received their Danger Expert essentials from the institution.
Regards
Andy Cartridge ODE
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Andrew
Please allow 28 days for delivery, so I can escape to the Maldives with all the loot.
Jeff Watt
FMIODE
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Posted By joanne doherty
I haven't received my pen or tie either, this could be a case for watchdog!!
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Posted By Derek Holt
Friday again and only a week since the conception of IODE.
Jeff,
Have received my membership grade many thanks.
All,
I believe certificates to have been dispatched via carrier pigeon on the account that there is high unemployment within the pigeon population and hence job creation [very admirable]. Also to use conventional means in response to the many applications would have been a manual handling issue for the poor postie. For the Pigeon delivering Merv's certificate it may be a one way trip?
Derek Holt EXPLODE (Explosives Occupational Danger Expert)
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Siblings
A whole week and no one came up with Danger Mouse, the office workstation ergonomics expert.
"Crumbs chief!!!"
"Hush Penfold."
Jeff Watt FMIODE
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Posted By DANGER RANGER
I would like to see a few names for Danger mans foes
1. The Clarkson riders
2. Producto
you get the message :)
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Posted By Philby'
Dangerman,
you missed the obvious:
Directors
Managers
Philby'
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Posted By Philby'
...and on amore comicbook note
'The creeping apathy/lethergy'
'the I didn't do it boy' (Bart Simpson)
'Its not my job' man
'flash' (a name of a lad I started my aprenticeship with...we used to set fire to the engineers blue to get it to go off quickly, Flash, always in a hurry, decided to pour more on....my bench was opposite his...whoosh, flame went up spout and blue ignited material on me...whislt rolling on floor to extiguish flames, he tried to put me out by smothering me with the swarf rags...nylon began to melt to me...thankfully my rolling about did the trick and, although shocked, only he was injured...two days later when I cornered him!
'hypochondriac' you all know who I mean...
Philby' whoops meant Portamurda
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Posted By Andy Walker
Further to the above what about
"Didn't blow my socks off man"
A workmate from many years ago in a previous job who used to cool the inside of his gloves with a blast of oxygen (I'm not kidding) until one day the inevitable spark gave him the above name. Luckily he wasn't hurt.
Andy
HEODE (Heavy Engineering ODE)
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Posted By Andrew Cartridge
Hang on chaps & chapesses...............
Staying with the dangermouse theme...............
Wasn't Penfold Dangermouse's sidekick a Hamster?
Dosen't Clarkson have a Hamster for a sidekick?
Cripes, could he really be Dangermouth? opps sorry Dangermouse!
Andy
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Posted By DANGER RANGER
lol DangerMouth, that is the best one upto now
Better than my Kung Foo bad guy
Nowin Nofee
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Posted By DANGER RANGER
I can see a pack of yu-gi-o cards here but they are called safe t go
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Any takers for
!!!Captain Sensible!!!
Not sure if he is a CATHODE or ANODE yet.
Dynamo.
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Posted By Andy Walker
Well done Jeffery people are starting to realise that we're not all grey and boring. (No offence meant to anyone with a tweed jacket, elbow patches clipboard and beard)
Andy
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Posted By Philby'
Caw...
this one came back out of the blue!
I'll wait while tomorrow though...
(PS. in relation to a previous thread of mine, I did it...I got the mohican back, bit missing on the crown, but back and proud...no-one in the upper eschelons, directors and heads of service, have said anything yet and both direct line managers have phoned in sick...one of the staff said that they probably saw me and went home with a bad head! I'll keep you posted if your interested)
Portamurda
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Crumbs
Looks like I'll have to start dressing like Wolverine all the time now that I'm famous.
Dynamo
FMIODE
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Posted By Andrew Cartridge
In recognition of his services to this forum, I would like put Jeffs name forward for the post of moderator, how about it Jeff?
Andy
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
Andy
Noooooooooo thanks. My post was a semi sincere bit of a laugh that went horribly right, thats all. There are better men (or women) than me Gunga-din for the role of moderator (or anything else on this most excellent of forums).
Anyway I need to position myself as vendor for all the IODE merchandise and wouldn't want there to be any conflicts of interest.
"Role up role up, kevlar underpants 3 for a tenner."
Dynamo
FMIODE
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Posted By bec_batty
Lol
This is great stuff... now when people ask what I do for a living I can say I recruit Danger Experts... sounds much more exciting!
Rebecca (Sanatio)
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Posted By Anne Smart
Dear all,
Thanks for posting the link to the Norwich Union article - it just goes to show how an idea can pick up steam in the media. Keep your eyes peeled for any more online coverage!
Anne Smart, IOSH media and marketing assistant
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Posted By Ian Jones
I like to start my work introductions with, Hi I am Ian the safety guy and stuntman (pause for reaction).
I then explain my second job involves me ascending a 50-foot ladder (14 Metre stable work platform) and diving head first into a bag of sponge (fall decelerator) this then starts some really good safety conversations especially about work at height and the management of risk.
I have had one or two instances when this information has been too much and has overloaded the recipient (Managers and safety officers) but we cannot win them all.
I think “Hi I am Ian the Danger Guy” will roll off the tongue quite nicely from now on.
Thanks Jeff
Regards Ian
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