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Posted By Clive B
This morning I have responded to questions from staff in my organisation on the following:
Why are there not enough fans to deal with this heatwave? Answer -because they are all at the World Cup.
Can you catch Legionaires Disease from envelope moisteners? answer -no.
Do our first aiders have to treat contractors? answer - only if they are injured.
After a long and illustrious career in H&S will my forthcoming retirement be a welcome releif or is it just summer madness?
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Posted By Salus
know what you mean Clive, I had an employee want to record their accident, shut their thumb in their car door.
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Posted By John Lewis
It's not just you. I had an accident report through the other day. The description of the the occurrence was "Panic attack in the car park on the way to work". I can understand the sentiment, but really, let's get real.
Best John
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Posted By Dazmo
Hello,
I had an employee who in all seriousness submitted an accident report for a nosebleed sustained whilst in the process of blowing his nose.
In the section titled 'what do you believe caused the accident' the employee put 'fate'.
The manager took a more pragmatic approach and commented that he would call the employee in and instruct him to blow his nose less vigorously in future.
You couldn't make it up!
Dazmo.
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Posted By Andrew Cartridge
Clive
It reminds me of the time when an accident had occurred on site, & I was trying to establish location in relation to North South East West etc. At the same time I was explaining what I was doing to a junior member of staff. She asked me how did I locate direction, so I asked her "well, where does the sun rise?"........Her answer, & I swear this is true............."in the sky"
Some you win & others??
Andy
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Posted By jackw.
The scene... a day centre for people with learning difficulties.. staff member supporting them with basic living skills was showing them how to use a microwave to heat a jam doughnut.. put her finger into it (i know horror hygiene), to se if it was warm..burnt/blistered the tip of her finger.... reported it through the accident reporting system.. some staff still recovering from the hysterical laughter at the eejit.
PS she is now the centre manager...
Joking... I hope.
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Posted By Darryl Jones
Employee walking to work, got bite by a dog walking along side a park.
She put the accident on the database with the corrective action: must take bus in future.
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Posted By Glyn Atkinson
Real RIDDOR injury !!- This report had the HSE Caerphilly phone operator in fits of laughter - and cost the injured party four weeks off work.
Engineer goes into caravan to effect repair - puts on shoe protector to protect new carpet - standard operation - plastic with light elastic holder - takes off protector and dislocates finger removing protector - no really ! Four weeks off work with bruised and highly swollen knuckle, couldn't drive properly as part of his work.
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Posted By Stuart Scott
I had a part time employee report that he had bumped his car and suffered whiplash...
he was in Edinburgh at a conference!!!
We are based in Wales!!!!
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Posted By Clive B
Thanks for the re-assurance guys that it is not just me. HOWEVER- having packed up work early through frustration and the fact that the sun is shining I cycled to our local countyshowground where over the weekend I will be the H&S Officer for a huge charity Funday. I had only been on site 5 minutes to supervise all the preparatory work when my bike fell over on me as i was sitting on the grass munching my apple! Accident report number one - cut and bruises to the H&S Officer.
Oh well c'mon England!
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Posted By Kay
Employee filled out accidnet report for hitting his thumb with a hammer - good so far.
Until the section titled "Verbal abuse" which was on all the company accident forms for incidents usually involving members of the public - he wrote "Swore at myself a lot and told myself not to be such an a*** in future".
Keeps the safety department happy............
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Posted By Hilary Charlton
I had a guy who filled in an accident form because he claimed to have wrenched his back putting his wallet back in his jacket pocket which was hanging up at the time - would that I had a purse that heavy!
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Posted By Rob Yuill
How about a shallow trench (450mm / 18" deep) that was considered a confined space, or
Cherry Pickers can only be used to change light bulbs when the fitting is less than 10 meters high.
Have you ever seen a scaffold errected around a car park lamp standard? (only kidding about the scaffold - we cut the pole down to below 10 meters so we could use the Cherry Picker).
Now where's me tablets?
Rob
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