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Posted By Andrew W
Really a Friday subject however;
What is the strangest problem somebody has pinned a Health and Safety badge on and expected you to wave your safety wand and fix?
As an example I've had someones personal hygiene (the smell makes me feel sick so its a health and safety problem)to we need a pressure washer (its a safety problem!! though I still haven't fathomed that one out)
Andy
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Posted By Andrew W
Must only be me then.
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Posted By Crim
Shared PC with one operator who picks his nose! (Can I really say that?)
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Posted By N Smith
I was invited to a meeting because they wanted to ban students wearing t-shirts with offensive slogans on them because of health and safety!!!
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Posted By Paul Duell
It isn't just you - I had loads in my last job, I'm just trying to think of the silliest examples!
How about - from the office staff -
"We should have reserved parking in the front car park. That car park is always full by the time we come in, so we have to park in the main car park and walk all round the building to get in (just like the rest of the company do)"
or
"The armco barrier around the car park is dangerous - I tripped over it going to my car" (if he'd been following the marked pedestrian route he wouldn't have gone anywhere near the armco).
I'm sure there are more and better - I'll have a little think...
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Posted By steve e ashton
Fot me, it's a toss up between
The 'wobbly kettle' (that was sitting on top of an old dot matrix printer...) Solution - put the kettle on the table.
and the 'problem with the emergency exit route' (the fire door was nailed shut) Solution - pull the nails out.
Both "Health and Safety problems" placed on my desk by otherwise sensible managers.... At what point do we lose the will to live?
Steve
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Posted By Jonathan Breeze
You think that's bad Steve, try this:
During the floods in August I was called in to stop the WC overflowing in one of our premises when the sewers were overwhelmed as it was "a health & safety issue".
- I'm still not sure what they expected me to do, raise my arms Moses like and cause the floods to part, or maybe lift the lid perhaps and sit down to create a perfect seal around the bowl or something?
I recommended the manager close shop early while I organised a thorough deep cleanse of the area prior to our re-opening.
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Posted By Thos G
There was an infestation of ants in the small kitchenette (tea cupboard). Duely the procurement team swung into action and purchases ant powder. The procurement manager tried to give me the ant powder to put down as I was the health & safety manager!!
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Posted By Lilian McCartney
Perhaps not such an odd one but something which you don't automatically know -
Years ago I was asked how often an employee returning from maternity leave would need to express breast milk so they could timetable their classes around this.
I asked my mum (who thankfully remembered 40 odd years ago).
Lilian
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Posted By Heather Collins
One or two from the past:
"We've run out of toilet rolls in the ladies toilets - can you go and get some from the cleaners' cupboard" (answer - no but I'll show you where they are so you can do it yourself!)
"There's a man in the car park photographing the building" (I do look after some security aspects as well). Cue everyone in the office watching, noses pressed against window, while I went out to politely ask said man what he was doing.
"There's rats in the skip". Luckily the facilities manager is dealing with this one as I'm not very keen on "rats as big as cats."
I'm sure I'll think of some more before Friday
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Posted By steve e ashton
Jonathan - I thought I was getting bit broad in the beam these days - you make me feel all slim and svelte!
Lilian - I thought that was part of the feminine lore or knowledge that was somehow passed down in the genes... I'm surprised to read its something that you actually have to learn ;-}
Steve
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Posted By andyp
I was kindly notified of a spilt cup of tea in the canteen by the receptionist. I was then informed there was a bucket & mop around the corner from the office; meaning the one that the receptionist had walked past to inform me of the cup of tea as it was a health & safety issue!!!
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Posted By John Mackessack
I always have some safety pixie dust about my person, or indeed, I open the emergency ACME Safety Expert box, if the excreta looks like it will really hit the fan.
Two instances:
a) the guy who rushed up two flights of stairs, ran through two offices to tell me the ashtray thingy in the smokers area outside was alight.
A cup of water from the drinks dispenser did the job of quenching this life threatening situation. He didn't seem to appreciate my sarcastic tone.
b) I received a phone from someone (who was having a PPE vanity crisis) saying that "when they took their safety glasses off, they went dizzy".
I told them not to take them off.
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Posted By Andrew W
Just had a new one as I was reading these posts.
The cleaner has a health and safety issue. Her husband refuses to sign in, so because of this he can't drive into site. Therefore she has to walk 50 yards and may get a cold so as "a point of health and safety" (Direct quote)he should be excused from signing in!!
It just gets better
Andy
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