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Posted By Merv Newman This is only Merv babbling. A bit post traumatic if you like.
Just got home from one of our regular 3-400 mile trips (Limoges if you are interested) Plugged in, answered a few e-mails and so on. Then had to stop for a bit.
About 30 years ago, soon after I started this trade, I remember going to a RosPA training course. Aycocks Green, some building made of cardboard I think.
The trainer had some pretty horrible photos to show and made the point "if you have never actually witnessed a fatal accident then you can never be really serious about safety"
Fine. FunFunFun. Until Wednesday. Someone driving in front of us decided to overtake an HGV. Met the other one coming down the hill.
Still alive when we got to him. Still pumping. Blood up to my armpits. Blood in my hair. I even got blood on my bloody phone. That is one polo shirt that cillit bang will not fix. I'll burn it. And the hotel receptionist ? A bit green.
Ladies, Gentlemen, thank you for reading this. Am I now qualified and to whom do I apply for my Blue Peter badge ?
Merv
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Posted By Chris Jerman Hey Merv, sounds like that took the shine of your day - and theirs.
Sounds pretty horrific. This, of course, may hit you later so be prepared.
regards
Chris Jerman
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Posted By Chris Packham Merv
I can sympathise. I have had something similar happen to me and know just what it can do to you. What I found worked for me was occupational therapy - i.e. getting stuck into my work in a way that I had never done before. Up early, at it all day then fell into bed late and so shattered that I just fell asleep. On the first occasion I had no real support as was single and working in an overseas environment. Second occasion support from wife and children was great.
I just wish I knew how para-medics handled this.
Chris
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Posted By Crim Hi Merv,
Thanks for sharing your story, that will do you some good for a start.
I remember when I saw my first RTA as a young fireman, 18 years young and still "wet behind the ears" The incident involved 2 cars and three people altogether, they were splattered with blood and shaking like leaves on trees. One windscreen had shattered and showered the couple in one car with glass that made numerous cuts on their faces, yes as per - blood all over the place.
An elderly couple died that night and the person that caused the head on crash lived. Not fair really.
All I was interested in was I couldn't eat my sandwiches when we got back to the station. That is something that had never happened to me previously and has not since, I love my grub.
Your PTS will ease in time but please talk about it as that does help to ease the pressure.
Don't feel guilty as it wasn't your fault, you were just there and I'm sure you did your best under extreme circumstances.
To answer the question - I'm sure you are well qualified due to your many years of experience plying your trade. Treat this as another string to your bow if you really want to justify it.
Take care of yourself over the weekend and try to keep busy.
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Posted By D H Hi Merv - my sympathy to you and the others who were involved. Good advice above - but there will be some restless nights ahead - when all is quiet and all are asleep - you will replay it over and over. Take it easy and do things you enjoy.
Remember - there was nothing you could do to cahange the events that happened.
My personal experiences were anger, guilt - and I could not change things either so why did I feel guilty? Helplesness - aware of my own mortality!
I disagree slightly with your trainer from years back though - "if you have never actually witnessed a fatal accident then you can never be really serious about safety" Yes - if you see the same situation arising you will think twice - but it will not stop someone outwith your control who has not seen the consequences from doing the same as you witnessed.
Please take care - and be gentle on yourself - you could do nothing about it.
Dave
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Posted By David Bannister Merv, traumatic experiences don't go away, in time we just learn to cope.
35 years ago I witnessed a fatal incident (drink & drugs, thought he could fly) and some months later was unable to resuscitate an already dead man. I still think of these incidents from time to time wondering "what if?"
My point is that you cannot change history, just learn to accept that terrible things happen and whilst we may agonise over our part in the events, we cannot now change the results.
Other posters have revealed that these incidents have been instrumental in them taking up a safety career, so one could argue that some good has arisen from previous harm.
Merv, your "tales of a safety man" on these forums are widely appreciated: keep 'em coming!
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Posted By Robert K Lewis Merv
Bit better than a decapitation or standing on top of your dead friend - but just as traumatic!!
Bob
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Posted By Kieran J Duignan In lieu of 'Blue Peter', why not CFIOSH now?
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Posted By med A few months ago my wife and me where driving home when a car pulled out of a side road at a ridiculous speed onto the country lane we where driving along, sure enough he lost control and went from one side of the road to the other and hit a car side on, he went on to hit a tree and was thrown out of the passenger door (no seat belt) the car then stopped. The driver died shortly after, the female driver of the other car had serious leg injuries (still recovering I believe) and her young passenger had severe bruising etc. the person who died left behind a partner and two young children, my wife and myself have to go to the coroners court for the inquest in October.
Med
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Posted By Tony abc jprhdnMurphy A proper safety story Merv. Dont know if I share the sentiments re: You are not a proper safety guy til you have witnessed a serious incident, but do understand that part of the role is dealing with emergency situations. I remember seeing a guy fall twelve metres off a scaffold and he got up, shook himself down and walked to catch a bus home. He didnt even put a report in the accident book and was first in next morning.I also remember taking a duct work lad to hospital with the worst arm injury ever, 17 different fractures, after he had fallen less than 1 metre. It was then that I realised how unfair these accidents often are and how they do not discriminate. The first death I witnessed was a massive heart attack while a guy was cleaning up some changing rooms. The last death was an electrocution on a road dig. There will no doubt be other incidents to deal with and I sympathise with those that have to go through the process. Still beats the hell out of labouring for £25 per day on building sites. Makes you wonder though, what the role of a safety guy really is
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Posted By Tabs Merv,
It will take some time as the others have already said. It is the quiet times that it will come - but don't fear the quiet because we need to re-live it all to make sure we made the right decisions.
No-one here will doubt that you have done that, except maybe yourself - so let it come.
It's a brave and a caring man that will get up to their elbows in in blood, and I applaud you for doing so. I am sure they would have said "thank you".
Look after yourself, and I am sure there is a large number of people here that would support you given the chance, so if you need to chat just say.
Meanwhile, chin up if you can, a small Ch Margaux 1982 and a bagette with plain chocolate might be a good choice.
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Posted By John Allen Unfortunately I think it’s an ordeal we all have to go through sooner or later. A few years ago on a country road I arrived on such a scene late one night. A van was over the dyke and in the woods. 2 men were dead the third injured. Fortunately a paramedic was first on the scene and was able to deal with the dead, but I had to comfort the injured man until the ambulance arrived. Fortunately he made a good recovery. The perpetrator, who was in a car on the wrong side of the road was drunk as a skunk and stuck in his car but otherwise uninjured. He got three years.
Last week we lost a well loved member of staff in a car crash. Her memorial service was yesterday. On the way home we found the road was closed due to a motor bike crash; the rider taken to hospital. Absolutely no comment is possible.
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Posted By A Campbell In my previous life I was a ‘medic’ in the forces and naturally went into the offshore oil industry.
Some horrific trauma incidents helped push my interest into the H&S element in order to try and prevent what I was treating!
The preventable accidents were the worst such as lifting a mobile crane from the dockside in Norway… the lift failed whilst over the water… and low & behold someone was still in the cab! Needles to say that it was heart wrenching waiting for divers etc to bring him out.. and me waiting to go through the motions!
We move on… we learn but we never forget. It is one factor that keeps me on the straight and narrow I feel.
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Posted By Paul M69 Some pretty serious stories in here guys; thankfully, a colleague I visited in hospital last week survived what was a very nasty RTA.He was pretty well mangled when a white van did a 90 right in front of his motorbike. The medics told him that his bikers leathers may have saved his life, PPE - good old last resort eh.
Sorry to hear about your traumatic experience Merv.
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Posted By TBC I think that a lot of people will go through life without ever coming across or witnessing a very serious fatal accident/incident. Those who have and they are many will always do their best in the situation as they find it - that's all we can do. Later we always question ourselves thinking could we have done more? I too have attended many accidents and even come across two whilst out driving off duty. Both these accidents had happened some time before I arrived and other people were there doing nothing some didn’t even get out of their cars to help – at one a person was telling me they had phoned for an ambulance and it’s on the way. You make decisions based on what you find and do what you can to the best of your capabilities. Yes you will have 'flashbacks' later I can still see faces of each one, but you must get on with life, take each day as it comes and enjoy everything life has to offer. You did your best Merv and became involved.
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Posted By Eliza Flutterby Years ago I watched my friend skid off his motorbike and get decapitated by an oncoming car. I didn't realise at the time until I went to check his pulse and his head rolled away from my hand. I had nightmares for months and felt so guilty, even though there was nothing I could have done.
Merv, please keep in mind that this will be a natural reaction to what happened to you. You're a hero for trying your best, and I'm sure this guy's family are really grateful that you tried your best. The best advice I can give you is to take it one day at a time. If that's too much, one hour at a time.
Be good to yourself, mate.
Eliza
PS - your old trainer was talking out his bahookie, in my opinion!! :-)
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Posted By Bob Shillabeer Merv,
Just a little bit to help, I hope. During my carrear working for the rail industry mainly on the operations side I have ben to about 25 to 30 fatalities on the railway and a serious train collision. It won't go away mate so try and put it out of your mind and get on with life. Easy to say I know but think about things this way. If it wasn't you it would have been someone else. Did the emergency services offer some sort of support, they seem to these days, not like my first fatality which was met with a rather cold question like was it all sorted now and the trains back to normal (from someone else who had dealt with a few fatals)because it was seen as part of life. Just one piece of advise, don't worry about thinking 'what else could I have done' the answer is probably nothing. Remember but don't let it worry you is probably the best advise anyone can give you.
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Posted By MAK Merv,
I just wanted to say, my thoughts are with you.
what you saw was a terrible terrible vision that will stay with you, and unfortunately proves in a most horrible way why we should maybe all apply a bit more sunday driving in our day to day driving efforts.
I also wanted to say thanks for letting us know about this, because these true incidents help make me remember why I chose this career when my day to day workload seems more and more to be shuffling bits of paper that no-one reads.
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Posted By Karen Todd On my way home from work a few years ago I came upon a serious RTA. There were already a few people around the cars, I knew I'd be absolutely useless and keel over and add to the casualty list, so I didn't even go down to see, and instead parked up and directed traffic going my direction down a side road as if the fire brigade & ambulance were coming from my direction they'd have to navigate a major tailback if I didn't sort it.
A lady stopped and said she was an intensive care nurse and I said I didn't know what the injuries were, but asked her if she'd go down. Then a man in another car said, "I live here" and drove past me rather abrubtly, then a man in the car behind said that the man who drove on was a doctor (why didn't he just say???) and sure enough I saw him go running over with his black bag to assist the nurse.
When I went into work the next day, I discovered that the very serious casualty that everyone was attending to was in fact one of our apprentices.
Unfortunately he died. Did I make a difference? Possibly. Perhaps the medical attention he got by the nurse & doctor getting through meant that he made it to hospital and died with his family at his bedside, instead of behind the wheel of the car. Who knows?
But at least you did something.
I came upon another one on the way to work one morning, pretty serious crash but really minor injuries. But what struck me was that if one of the cars had been hit side on rather than on it's front corner (and the timing difference is split seconds), the 2 ladies in the car might not have walked away. It really made me think how circumstances can change the outcome, and maybe we should all take that little bit more care & attention.
KT
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Posted By Kieran J Duignan Naturally and appropriately, many express appreciation and empathy with Merv's situation, behaviour and experience.
Curiously, there's been little if any direct response to the question with which he headed his entry, Are we there yet?
In his characteristic enigmatic way, Merv hasn't clarified exactly 'where' he anticipates 'we' might be moving. On the assumption that he refers to the optimal management of safety, I observe that there is no direct mention of the volume of relevant behavioural science directly evident to the situation, behaviour and experience outlined in Merv's story.
So, Merv, in a nutshell: No, the safety profession are not 'there' yet and perhaps may not really be in sight of the relevant signposts to scientifically-based action. AT the same time, let'a appreciate appropriate willingness to behave as healthy human beings on hearing or reading about horrors (which behavioural sciences could go quite some way to prevent and mitigate).
And in answer to the second question you ask, I don't understand the paths to Blue Peter but believe the path to CFIOSH is still relevant for you; speak to IOSH for relevant details on pathways.
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