Rank: Super forum user 
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When are we going to persuade shops not to put these stupid notices on packaging?
Do some people need these warnings?
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) --
"Do not turn upside down."
(well...Huh, a bit late !)
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On Sainsbury's peanuts --
"Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
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On Boot's Children Cough Medicine --
"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking
this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
could just get those 5 year-old with head-colds off those bulldozers.)
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On Marks &Spencer Bread Pudding --
"Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
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On a Sears hairdryer --
Do not use while sleeping.
(That's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
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On a bag of Frito's --
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside.
(the shoplifter special?)
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On a bar of Dial soap --
"Directions: Use like regular soap."
(and that would be???....)
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On some Swanson frozen dinners --
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's just a suggestion.)
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me time?)
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On Nytol Sleep Aid --
"Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(..I'm taking this because???....)
==============================
On most brands of Christmas lights --
"For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to what?)
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On a Japanese food processor --
"Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
==============================
On an American Airlines packet of nuts --
"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: say what?)
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On a child's Superman costume --
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
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On a Swedish chainsaw --
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my God..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
===========================
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even chuckle)...
=============================
****Blessed are the cracked:
for it is they who let in the light*****
Does anyone have examples of stupid packet instructions?
It's Friday start winding down.
Badger
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Rank: Super forum user 
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Baby Oil - Keep out of reach of children
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Rank: Super forum user
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On a 500-piece jigsaw puzzle:
Some assembly required.
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Rank: Super forum user
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Nice one Barrie - evidence if it was needed that the world has gone mad!
Meanwhile, it would be nice if cooking instructions could be written in larger print so that I don't have to use a magnifying glass.
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Rank: Forum user
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RayRapp wrote:Nice one Barrie - evidence if it was needed that the world has gone mad!
Meanwhile, it would be nice if cooking instructions could be written in larger print so that I don't have to use a magnifying glass. Glad it's not just me then. Got my eyes tested because of this and still can't read the instructions with my new reading glasses.
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Rank: Super forum user 
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On a packet of camoflage netting, "not suitable for use indoors"
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Rank: Super forum user
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On a ketchup bottle:
Instructions: Put on food.
&
In a hotel bedroom:
Please do not turn on TV except when in use.
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Rank: Forum user
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You'll find that a lot of companies started doing this because of the following case
Mrs. Merv Grazinski, of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma, who purchased a new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go to the back of the Winnebago to make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the motor home left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Also not surprisingly, Mrs. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not putting in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually leave the driver's seat while the cruise control was set. The Oklahoma jury awarded her, are you sitting down, $1,750,000 PLUS a new motor home. Winnebago actually changed their manuals as a result of this suit, just in case Mrs. Grazinski has any relatives who might also buy a motor home.
The end is near if humans are getting this bad.
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Rank: Forum user 
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Although the Winnebago story is an urban legend, I remember reading somewhere that it did influence some American policy making - only in America
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Rank: Forum user
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On the back of a local bakery van:
"NO CAKES LEFT IN THIS VEHICLE OVERNIGHT"
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Rank: Forum user
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A bit like the peanut one. Most milk bottles / cartons contain the helpful info ' Contains Milk'.
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Rank: Super forum user 
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Product liability law in USA is tried on a State by State basis and some States have produced some really weird case law. Also juries award damages and include penal damages too, unlike UK where the criminal courts would handle penalties, civil courts damages.
The outcome is that US companies and anyone selling their products there are almost paranoid about warning against anything any barmpot might conceivably be tempted to do, hence the stupid warnings for stupid people.
Sorry to hijack this light-hearted Friday thread.
Have a great weekend.
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Rank: Forum user
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On the packet of a socket protector:
Place in socket to ensure safety.
Sorry, couldn't resist it. Especially with the other thread that is running. Have a good weekend everyone.
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Rank: Forum user 
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More socket cover instructions (from various packets):
"Isolate socket before fitting. Push in to install. Pull out to remove"
"IMPORTANT: Ensure electrical socket is switched off during installation, removal and whilst Socket Cover is in use." (Leaves you wondering what to do with unswitched sockets!)
"Removable by using the plug's Earth Pin" (On a cover which its manufacturer claims “will prevent children from plugging in electrical items such as heaters and hair straighteners”.
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Rank: Super forum user
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On ASDA tin of sardines in tomato sauce: "Allergy advice - contains fish". Mind you they are now American owned.
Was once asked for advice re a machine donated to a school for cleaning and maintaining artificial football pitches. The machine had a label on it that said " Use of this machine may cause cancer". Took me a little time to realise that the machine had been imported from California, USA and it was referring to the petrol used as its fuel and that it might contain trace amounts of benzene.
John C
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Rank: Forum user
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On the Roses (flowers not chocolates) packaging delivered from Holland "Do Not Eat"
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Rank: New forum user
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On packaging for a Rowenta iron --
"Do not iron clothes on body."
My mates actually done this. He put on a shirt after ironing it and realised he'd missed a bit of the sleeve. He set about ironing it and still has a faint iron shape on his bicep.
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Rank: Super forum user 
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Don't be too quick to scoff -
On a NGC1 paper I marked at the weekend:
Q: identify two functions of first aid treatment
A: this is the aid we give first
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Rank: Super forum user
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Walker wrote:Don't be too quick to scoff -
On a NGC1 paper I marked at the weekend:
Q: identify two functions of first aid treatment
A: this is the aid we give first Haha...class!
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