Did any one catch the news today that the clever bods have managed to measure sub-atomic particles travelling faster than the speed of light ( blink and you'll miss 'em ).

This mean that time travel is now a very real possibility ( some have predicted time travel by early Tuesday afternoon but I remain doubtful ).

So with time travel are we all out of work? After all if someone has an accident all they have to do is rewind the clock to prevent it happening. Looks like the "claims are us" type boys may also be on the ropes.

Last night they still hadn't mastered it by lunchtime next Thursday.

Paradox alert! Imagine having to risk assess time travel!

Just think you could watch the satellite crash instead of getting hit by it!

This is because, as you know, anyone who works in H&S has their sense of humour conviscated when they start the job. This has resulted in a EU stock pile of unused Friday threads.

Unfortunatley, the containment system (designed by committee, delivered late, over budget and under spec) is starting to fail and Friday threads are beginning to leak all over the place.

It won't be long now until a huge slick of giggles begins to ruin the flight feathers of small sea birds and causes B list celebraties to take up the cause and fight to have their costal views restored along with the value of their properties.

If time travel were possible I'd travel back to before I got into health and safety and find another career!

Just a weeks worth (Lotto T'ball And Euro) will be fine thanks messyshaw -I don't want to be seen to be too greedy!!

Time please everyone!