I've just had an email from a potential supplier of safety goods which at first glance I thought was over kill, then took it in the vein it was intended and reproduced below, can anyone add to it? Noise • Watch those crackers as the peak sound pressure if you get them too close to your ear could certainly be around the peak action level! Also beware of some of those kids toys – even if they don’t actually make you a little deafer, they might cause a huge amount of stress on the cardio-vascular system! • Granddad snoring in the corner of the room can have a similar effect. This all points to the giving of hearing protection as being an ideal stocking filler! • Playing the queen’s speech too loud could certainly annoy the neighbours, so get your sound meter out and set the TV to about 75dBA at 1m just to be safe! • Noise pollution from iPods is another worry at this time – there’s nothing worse than hearing music and not being able to figure out what it actually is! Vibration • If you have one of those electric turkey cutters, you’d better get the risk assessment started now – and don’t think you can rely on manufacturers data for that one – especially if you decide to go off-piste and have goose! • Don’t get me started on those chaps among you who have asked for a chainsaw or other DIY boys-toys for Christmas! COSHH • Difficult to know where to start here but we’re looking at explosive atmospheres with all that brandy vapour (look up the definitions if you thought it was fume!), dust inhalation from icing sugar on top of those mince pies and probably the worst time of the year for the ingestion of potentially hazardous chemicals – especially in the form of CH3CH2OH • If you’re thinking of playing hide and seek with the kids, or postman’s knock with the adults, then watch out for confined spaces – getting in the oven while it’s on is certainly not a good idea! • This is a bit of a delicate one, but Sprouts should certainly be treated with care as the after effects can have a significant impact for global warming! Light • Not many people realise we actually have a set of regulations for light (The Control of Artificial Optical Radiation at Work Regulations 2010). Just watch out for those toys with lasers in them, which mixed with a little boy’s desire to ‘torture’ his baby sister (I should know – I was one of those little boys!) can lead to a fair amount of optical radiation exposure! • Light pollution from outdoor Christmas lights is definitely on the hit-list. The more garish they are, the bigger the multiplying factor on the annoyance scale for the neighbours so keep them subtle and please use LED ones as they’re much better for the environment. I finish lunchtime Friday so if no posting before then, have a good Xmas everyone. Badger

And for the office party why not STD, the gift that keeps on giving! Re sprouts Cat B no naked flames Refer to the no smoking policy Have fun, stay safe

Badger If anyone fancies playing dustman's knock (reputedly a dirtier version of postman's knock) they might need to consider disposable protective suits and other forms of PPE. And before anyone accuses me of ignoring diversity and equality issues, I know the word 'dustman' is somewhat archaic. However, it is easier and quicker to write than 'urban cleansing operative' or whatever the latest expression is nowadays! :-)