This is from our office laureate...

Here’s a Christmas message from A&E
To survive the day in total safety
Pulling a cracker can cause you harm
So many people have broken their arm
People have died watering their tree
Leaving the Xmas lights on so they could see
Others get burnt by a cigarette
Trying a sweater while it’s still lit
Remove the pins from that new shirt
‘cos if you don’t you might get hurt
Your xmas pudding you could flambé
Though third degree burns could ruin your day
Don’t test that battery with your tongue
You might remain eternally young
So do be careful and don’t be a fool
It’s natures way of preserving our gene pool

... I read it and thought I might share it

I think perhaps laureate is the wrong word...

Unless perhaps you meant they murdered the language and bedecked the grave with a large wreath?

;-)