This is from our office laureate... Here’s a Christmas message from A&E To survive the day in total safety Pulling a cracker can cause you harm So many people have broken their arm People have died watering their tree Leaving the Xmas lights on so they could see Others get burnt by a cigarette Trying a sweater while it’s still lit Remove the pins from that new shirt ‘cos if you don’t you might get hurt Your xmas pudding you could flambé Though third degree burns could ruin your day Don’t test that battery with your tongue You might remain eternally young So do be careful and don’t be a fool It’s natures way of preserving our gene pool ... I read it and thought I might share it

I think perhaps laureate is the wrong word... Unless perhaps you meant they murdered the language and bedecked the grave with a large wreath? ;-)