EVENT RISK ASSESSMENT

Location: The Planet

Who is at risk: All life on the planet

Event being assessed: Mayan Prediction of the End of the World – 21 Dec 12

HAZARDS RESIDUAL RISK ACCEPTABLE
After Control Measures have been implemented

Fire and brimstone Yes
Noise from big bangs Yes
Falling objects like skyscrapers Yes
Inclement Weather Yes
Vaporisation Yes
Overcrowding on Island Yes

Work Equipment to be used: Aeroplanes and ships / tentage / shotgun with 500 rounds of shot.

Safety Equipment to be used:
Full Personal Protective Equipment
First aid kits
Fire extinguishers
Method of communication between you and your God

Control Measures

• If flying or going by ship ensure disembarkation onto safe island prior to commencement of event. Also ensure your airline is competent and reputable.
• Once on island select most prestigious spot to view event as it unfolds around you.
• Ensure tentage has been inspected and checked for mould from previous use.
• PPE - ensure suitable ear defenders are to hand during event and your sunshades are non-breakable during travel – take second pair as back up.
• Ensure shotgun is well cleaned and oiled and free from rust.
• Check all 500 rounds of shot are in good condition and ensure gun is loaded.
• Ensure your 20 tons of mixed food (don’t forget your 5 a day) are secure and set booby traps around perimeter to prevent theft.
• Ensure you have enough water sterilising tablets to last you the rest of your life
• Ensure your matches are dry
• Inclement Weather – ensure you are in possession of waterproofs and hi-viz jacket.

PERSONS RESPONSIBLE FOR EVENT: Mayan Civilisation
ASSESSOR: Sacrifial Lamb Initial Assessment Date: 14 December 2012
REVIEW DATE: Continuous throughout event on 21 May 2012

It's Poets Day! (Don't need to explain do I?)

Rich

Can't think of anything you may have missed, I guess my only question is if this would be RIDDOR reportable? ;)

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Alan

Wonder if i'll get time for a last pint in my local at 6pm next Friday. Last day officially of work as well till ever (or the new year as we like to call it).

Your control measures seem more of a contingency plan, none of the measures you suggest seem to prevent the end of the world. Shouldn’t we have to drill a big hole in something or blow something up? Ideally with the biggest nuclear weapon there is and some dubious wiring- we could ask Zimmy about the wiring so it is not dubious, but he not around).

Are you qualified in extinction level events, do you have a relevant cert and minimum 20 years’ experience of preventing such events.

However, with the measures you suggest, as well as checking the tent for mould, you may want to consider waterproofing it, and checking you have all the pegs. The booby traps should have some signage. You don’t want to be the first one to be fined all their food by the “no win no fee” brigade, in the new world.

For those not familiar with Poet's Day as mentioned above, it's a reference to the day Friday as the end of each working week with POETS comprising an acronym of "Push off early, tomorrow's Saturday".

However, in the context of this thread, POETS could also be an acronym for

Predicted Oblivion Event Transpiring Soon

Though I'm not 100% convinced about the accuracy of the Mayan Civilisation's prediction it's a good pretext for forum users to have a really good wild party somewhere before 21st Dec. It would make a change from the usual excuse about Christmas coming soon. Disguises, costumes and/or pseudonym badges optional for those attending.

Also time will tell which media channels will be giving best coverage during the event and afterwards!!! :-)

Only if you can find your head in order to pick it up;and it may be so considerable distance away from your body.

My head will be between me old legs kissing me "+*%$ goodbye :-0

Well, Friday 21st Dec has arrived and, so far, the Earth is still rotating with everything and everybody on it as usual. If it's any reassurance, some TV news reports have stated that there's been some misinterpretation about the Mayan Calendar and that it's simply entering a new major period akin to a mega-long millenium period. Just hope that this is correct!

Anyhow, for those who have forgotten, today is the Winter Solstice for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere. If you're fed up with limited daylight daylight hours at present the good news about the Solstice is that the duration of daylight each day in the UK will now increase by about 2 minutes per day from now until the next Summer Solstice. No wonder that some people still celebrate, as the builders of Stonehenge apparently did, the Winter Solstice. On this note, if the pessimistic interpretation of the Mayan Calendar proves to be unfounded, you could always re-classify your pre-annihiliation partying last night or today as a Solstice Celebration.

p.s. Just in case the pessimistic interpretation of the Mayan Calendar happens to be correct, I'd better conclude this posting with a cheerio to fellow forum users! :-)

p.p.s. In view of the recent reminder about forum rules, I'm aware that this posting may be at risk of moderation through having negligible relevance to OS&H. Therefore, in a bid to redeem it, I'll add that the latest edition of a well-known satirical magazine includes a snippet about the HR manager of a newspaper group sending a stern e-mail to all employees warning against i) excessive alcohol consumption and ii) saying or doing anything which might offend, embarrass or intimidate anyone else at forthcoming office parties. Furthermore, the penalties for ignoring the advice would be severe. An hour or so later another e-mail was sent out advising that the first one didn't apply to employees at several named locations because the company wasn't providing any party for them! :-(

Clairel - I was using a broad brush approach (and also aiming for some brevity) in resisting my inclination as a geographer to mention 11.11 hrs GMT as the precise time for maximum orientation of the North Pole away from the Sun. Anyhow, less than 15 minutes to go now! :-)

:( - I'm marking IOSH MS papers (lots of them) I was kinda hoping the world was going to end to save my brain...

A further loud WOOHOO seems appropriate as the Earth is evidently still rotating with everybody and everything on it as usual. However, even though Friday 21st is almost over for us in the UK, perhaps it's best to wait until it's over in Mexico just to be entirely sure! :-)

I wish I hadn't borrowed all that money now. 17,500% didn't seem so bad what with the end of the world due. I think I'm in trouble now.

Any chance of a pay rise Tim?