Posted By J Knight It is true that being thrown in the garbage by squirrels is one of the common hazards in Charity shop work. We have countered it by equipping the squirrels with small ID charrts which they can use to distinguish miscreant children from household debris. One of the funniest threads I've read for a while; it made me larf! John

Posted By Alison Melrose Both the Police and the HSE are currently investigating the allegations and wish to interview the employees to gain their perspective to the accidents (which were not reported under RIDDOR or seem to have been placed in the accident book). An HSE inspector (who wishes to remain anonomous) indicated that Mr Wonka could be facing both a fine and compensations payouts as the building was clearly on UK land and Mr Wonka did not have diplomatic immunity under current UK law. The local authority have recently been plagued with asylum seekers (who appear to to come from a large family of identical twins, quads or sextuplets under the name Loompa). Immigration officers now have the power to enter businesses to search for illegal immigrants and demand information to detect asylum fraud and have been called to Mr Wonka’s factory to investigate whether the Loopa family have entered the country legally. If they are found to have entered the UK illegally, Mr Wonka may be facing a custodial sentence as the maximum jail term for those convicted of harbouring or trafficking illegal immigrants ranges from six months to 14 years.

Posted By stevehaigh Sad!!!!!!!

Posted By Andrew Cartridge Nice one Peter, However, I would be inclined to look closely Mr M Wonka's Health & Safety Policy, that is assuming he employs more that 5 Oompas. It should clearly define the role of the Managing Oompa in relation to the H&S in the factory. Andy

Posted By Alison Melrose I challenge the wormhole theory by attaching the proceeding of a workshop held on the subject which clearly indicate the worhmhole mouth would be "planet size" rather than factory size... http://www.npl.washingto...1858913&CFTOKEN=66013003 While not denying they may exist, it is unlikey they would be stable and exist in the UK without the authorities having erected barb wire fence around them to prevent people disappearing off to exotic otherworlds where there a) may not be air to sustain life b) nice friendly locals who take kindly to "aliens" arriving on their factory doorstep... I assume Mr Wonka pays taxes and is a citizen of the UK (and not an illegal immigrant himself). Is his company registered in the UK? The Media interest in this story has led to MI5 / CIA and NASA taking a closer look at Mr Wonka's affairs..... (and yes, it probably is a bit sad but taking oneself too seriously is even sadder!)

Posted By Alison Melrose mmm... it wasn't me that brought up the theory of wormholes...you never said he was on another planet merely that the factory was reached by a wormhole. That article suggests that wormholes would have a massive opening (so is your head the size of a planet? scary if it is!! and I thought Oompas were tiny folk! ;) Having not actually seen the JDepp film (I'm basing this on the Gene Wilder Wonka), at the end, the Glass Elevator can clearly be seen flying through the roof of the building and flying over UK airspace -over Charlies home and school (thus suggesting the building IS on UK soil and not as you suggest on another planet!) also....given the high security alert the UK is currently under, his glass elevator may be shot down by scrambled fighter jets!!

Posted By Alison Melrose Fair enough... (the Gene Wilder one was on the TV about a week ago and it was still as good as I remember it as a kid and there's also something unsettling about J Depp in that role! ). Watched a programme about the making of the new film though and it looks really good....could be a trip to the cinema this weekend I think!!

Posted By Caro M Haven't seen the new film but as I understand it there is only one Oompa Loompa. (Presumably the rest are clones? ) Does this mean Mr Wonka gets round his H&S issues by only actually having 1 employee? Just a thought.....

Posted By joedukeries all you people that are saying this post is sad, are even more sad for saying its sad, health and safety is boring enough you guys need to lighten up like our mr peter mcdonald seems to have to, sometimes even health and safety guys can have laugh, err except for you guys in grey suits and grey lifes that call this post sad. well done peter keep em coming guys joe

Posted By MichaelM Frank Good point. However... Could it not also point out that no matter what we do there will always be companies/employers(such as the aforementioned Mr Wonka) who do not take responsibility and that there will always be people / employees / visitors / children who don't take responsibility for their actions and jump into rivers of chocolate because of greed stupidity and sheer lack of understanding of the risk etc. Did Mr Wonka have a young persons risk assessment? If so did the parents read it and approve of it? I believe he did and they approved through sheer greed and the thought of getting their grubby hands on the Factory! O Loompa