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Posted By Jim Walker
I’ve just checked my crystal ball; here are the hot topics that will be discussed on these forums in the next three months:
? Is IRRSM better than IOSH?
? Is Diploma better than NVQ?
? Cert. holders are not competent professionals
? Moderators are too strict
? Moderators are not strict enough
? Can you send me a risk assessment for ……….
? Next week (fill in relevant reg. that has been on the cards for 5 years) becomes law, and I’ve just thought I might do something about it.
? I need advice (on any topic you like that has been discussed here ad nauseam) but I can’t be bothered to do a search
? My favourite: I work for (some government body, usually LA or NHS) we use financial restraints as an excuse not to bother with legal responsibilities, how do others in the same boat fudge this? PS. the CEO has just been awarded a six-figure bonus and our HQ has just been refurbished for the third time in ten years.
? Should I risk assess the office Xmas party.
? Warning: do not photocopy your bum at the office Xmas party
? Should we clear up ice from walkways
? Don’t use mobiles in petrol stations because they blow up – please see this recent warning from Esso (and all the other urban myths).
Any more?
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Posted By Robert K Lewis
Someone will post a list of anticipated hot topics!
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Posted By Descarte
My spouse or significant other was doing/having "X" activity and badly injured their "X" organ/body part, is there anyway we can claim against "Mr X"
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Posted By markl
Having just had a chat with mystic meg I foresee the following responses to posts:
1 I'm a disgruntled H&S advisor who has been passed over for promotion once to often (with possible sociopathic tendencies) and I will heap scorn on anyone with the audacity to ask for advice on an open forum from fellow professionals.
2. I have missed the point entirely of the initial post but my response is designed not to answer the original query but to leave the general impression that I am without doubt the smartest user of this service.
3. I will copy and paste relevant legislation related to original query (my personal favourite is reg 3 Management Regs), ignoring the fact that the postee is probably more than well aware of this and avoid answering any questions.
4. I will intentionally bend all my responses to blame the HSE and IOSH for whatever wrong has been done since the beginning of time.
Don't you love fridays - anyone fancy a pint.
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Posted By GeoffB4
Mine is:
Jim Walker will respond to and/or initiate at least 64 different threads in the next month on the IOSH forum (going by the last month).
Is this a record?
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Posted By The toecap
Mine is i will respond to a general thread! DOH! too late
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Posted By Paul
I think that mr J Clarkson esq might crop up in the odd conversation.
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Posted By gham
many learned colleagues will post useful and informative responses to a questions that the poster will not bother to thank those respondees for giving up the time and making the effort to answer them, not appreciating the lengths that have been taken to arrive at the response
This will happen 95% of the time
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Posted By Tony Brunskill
Having reviewed the file gham will post a thread regarding the users of this forum not saying thanks.
Damn that was the Hindsight File, Claire get me the future file!!
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Posted By gham
Tony
Thanks for you response, I appreciate the time you took to answer
(Doh i was wrong)
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Posted By ITK
1. Newly qualified HSE/LA Officer (Delete as appropriate) never worked in a real workplace therefore should not be inspecting.
2. My boss wants a presentation on (add any subject) without wanting to reinvent the wheel does anyone have one.
3. I have just passed NEBOSH certificate why can I not get a Health and Safety job.
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Posted By Edward Shyer
Doris stokes tells me that at least one response to my future postings will be;
DONT' FEED THE TROLL?
regards
Ted
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Posted By Descarte
Was mine to subtle? having "X" and injuring their "X" organ?
Bah, wasted I am I tells ya
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Posted By Jeffrey Watt
I'm not a medium (more of an XXL) but here goes.
Some one from a manufacturing background will dis the LA bods because of a bogus tabloid headline about acorns or other associated tree seed used by children for centuries. I will run in to defend the LA team but only as a cover in an attempt to be incredibly witty. I will laugh myself silly at my own strange joke, pat back, while rest of community wonders "What is that guy drinking?"
Kind regards of course
Jeff
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Posted By Tony Brunskill
Des,
I do not see what the X factor has to do with this post.
And Claire, I meant to say please!!
OK gham!!
Thanks
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Posted By Descarte
^ goes to show how my mind works then.
never mind
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Posted By Paul
Pea shooter sales will be restricted to those over 16 years of age because a child will loose an eye at school.( The aforementioned sprog had actually used a biro with the end cap and inner workings taken out.) The Government will announce that pea shooters will require licenses and it will drive sales underground. And gun crime will continue to increase..
This topic will probably appear on a Friday and the thread will be hijacked with details of where the best pub lunch can be found.
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Posted By Tony Brunskill
Some Answers to the Predicted Threads (Not personal views)
Don’t know who are IRRSM
Of course cos I have the Diploma.
In what exactly?
Obviously
To join the Gestapo maybe
Sorry I am only a Cert holder and do not feel competent to risk assess dots.
Nice to see your ahead of the game for a change, and a week to spare, we are making your post part time.
Must be a cert holder if he needs advice.
Get a job as the CEO at HQ and stop winging
Depends on whether you have upset a hairy bottomed foreman from a construction site with your namby pamby safety ideas
Are other body parts safe?
No install video and make money on the next series of You’ve been framed.
This seems like sound advice to me, plan your calls, make them before you arrive at the services and multitask while driving.
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Posted By Martyn Hendrie
The moderators are too strict/ lenient (take your pick)
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Posted By JasonGould
An all time favourite for the future
"do you know we have a spell checker"
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Posted By Merv Newman
Brilliant. This is the most sideways Friday thread I have ever seen.
Thanks. I don't know what to say.
Anyone else need a freebie that took me two weeks to develop ?
Merv
It's threads like this that keep me going.
Backwards.
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Posted By Christian
howdy all
great thread -perhaps we can get our own Worst IOSH Posting show on channel 5 presented by some C list comic/presenter at 1am tonight?
recent iosh postings indicate that you're looking for fresher avenues of communication to augment not replace this one, with more bells n whistles-if so then email me and i'll send you a new free safety website launching monday, that a contact of mine has built- best thing since HASAWA etc he hopes
have a great weekend y'all
chris
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Posted By Paul
Did I detect a Mrs Robinson moment in that thread??
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Posted By Pugwash
This is magic.
The essence of the health and safety profession in the UK captured in a single thread.
Well done Jim. This has to be a candidate for one of the top 10 best threads ever.
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Posted By jom
? What's the weather in Tasmania doing
J
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