Posted By Andy Brown I have been asked by my employer to perform a risk assessment for a sub-contractor who will be doing work on top of a number of residential properties early next week. The work will be carried out at night and the work equipment will have to be landed directly on the roof. The tried and tested method of entry to the property has been down the hot gas discharge pipework (chimney) from the internal timber incineration unit (fireplace). I have heard of this method of access but I don't believe anyone has actual visual confirmation of this method. Do I just trust to blind faith and risk a lawsuit, or should we scaffold the exterior of every building complete with harness system and floodlighting and an external lift for every property the sub-contractor is contracted to visit? I am also concerned about the lifting hazards as some of the deliveries look to be quite bulky. I believe the subby will only be at each residence for "the blink of an eye" Your help in this delicate matter would be much appreciated. This enquiry is time critical as there will be sever penalties for late delivery!!!

Posted By Alan Hoskins RISK ASSESSMENT - GENERAL / TASK LOCATION: WORLDWIDE TASK: DELIVERY OF GIFTS TO CHILDREN AND ADULTS WHO HAVE BEEN GOOD ALL YEAR! Ref No: Santa/RA1//04 DATE: December 2006 ASSESSOR: Elf N Sleighffty JOB TITLE: Santa’s Little Helper REVIEW DATE: December 2007 Manual Handling: The loads may be heavy, awkward, load liable to shift Use correct techniques as per training May require 2 person lift (get elves to assist) Park sleigh as close to chimney as possible Confined Spaces (Chimney): Strict diet regime 1 month prior to Christmas Ensure safe access/egress Ensure sufficient working space in void Have means of contact available to call to elves for help (Santa phone) Lone Worker: Plan route and leave details with Mrs Claus and elves Means of contact (Santa Phone) Burns (from fires/embers in hearth): Don’t enter chimney where smoke is discharged as fire may be lit in hearth Use alternative means of access, e.g. front door using universal Santa Key Ensure door locked on exit as per Community Safety and Police guide Consider discharging extinguisher /bucket of water down chimney – that’ll serve them right for being so stupid! Zoonoses (acquired through working with reindeer): Animals supplied from reputable supplier All Reindeer to undertake health assessments prior to 25th December Rudolf’s nose in effective working order (glowing bright red) Work at Height: Time constraints do not allow use of fall arrest equipment Park sleigh in correct manner (preferably over ridge) Keep away from leading edge Apply brake to sleigh Ensure adequate tread on wellies Reindeer fitted with enhanced grip shoes Exposure to Hazardous Substances (soot): Where excessive soot noted, use alternative means of access (see 4 above) if not your suit will be ruined! (reminder: 1 month prior to Christmas request chimney cleaned prior to 25th December). Slip, trip or fall: Plan route Avoid obstructions If falling, lean forward and fall onto front where extensive Santa tummy will minimise any injury Where pathway not cleared leave a note for the lazy ‘b’s to advise they will not be on Santa’s list for the following year! Hypothermia / Heat Stroke: Rain, snow, ice Heat effects in Australia Suitable PPE, Fur trimmed suit, thermal gloves, thermal socks inside wellies, Santa Hat Change into solar reflective suit and wear high factor sun cream for southern hemisphere (not required during the hours of darkness) Food Poisoning/Alcohol effects: Mince pies Cookies Sherry Also Reindeer may be affected by too many carrots (leading to flatulence) If house looks like it should be on Kim and Aggie (how clean is your house) (UK TV) then avoid eating/drinking at all costs. You may wish however to remove and dispose of the items to reduce risk of offence which may in turn lead to threats to personal safety. Disposal should be undertaken in accordance with your duty of care (may require Special Waste Consignment Note) Work Equipment: Selection and use of appropriate work equipment. (sleigh runners, harnesses, ropes, braking system, visible and audible systems). Ensure all equipment is maintained by authorised & competent person Ensure equipment certification is in order (MOT) Ensure Santa has certificate of competence to operate equipment. Use incident form data to analyse whether further training is necessary. Ensure sufficient wax applied to runners Remind Santa to record all accidents, incidents and near misses as this will enable Risk Assessments to be revised Collision/struck by other airborne vehicles: Register flight plan with air traffic control Personal Safety: Check with foreign office regarding ‘unsafe areas’ e.g. wars and civil unrest (Middle east). MERRY CHRISTMAS

Posted By John Mac Carthy Very Good :) Still laughing at it :) :) :)