Posted By David Bannister I am delivering a 10 minute talk to a group of small business owners on what H&S is about and why they should be interested. I intend to start off wearing a variety of PPE and then remove them whilst quickly explaining the hierarchy of control, leading in to "what H&S can do for you" Whilst I think the style may be mildly amusing I am looking for a couple of funny 1-liners to illustrate that we are not all grim enforcers. Any offers please?

Posted By Anthony Edwards Dave, I saw this on another thread Why is it if a scientist tells you there are seventy billion stars in the night sky you believe them but put up a sign saying 'Wet Paint' and you have to stick your finger in to test it? Good luck Nutty

Posted By Amanda I often finish a sentence a manager has just said giving reason why they can't comply with H&S with "and that's my defence your Honour" It certainly is a conversation stopper

Posted By Dave Merchant It's psychology 101 - identify their fears and play with them to achieve your goals. You may not want to scare them up trees, but making what you say trigger something they've been worrying about in the past will always get them listening. Humor works best when it's slotted into something deadly serious, otherwise you can just look like you're there for the party. I tend to take it up a level as my stuff is all CGI. Talking to the managers of a chemical company, they seemed to perk up a little when I played a fake news video of their own plant in flames and surrounded by ambulances. Something about seeing the BBC staked out on your lawn brushes off the Monday-morning attitudes.

Posted By The toecap I heard that people are more likel;y to die or be seriously injured whilst at work that win the lotto.