Posted By Nick Higginson Laurie, Hmmm, an accident investigation to really get your "teeth" into eh? Hope you didn't get too "cross" with the poor lad. Recommended control measure: Garlic and silver bullets for supervisors. Good luck with your causal analysis. Regards, Nick

Posted By Andy Well, can we admire his honesty? did he freely admit to this. An employee recently stated that he exacerbated a recent injury because he wrapped his leg around a brush handle and slipped!

Posted By Zoe Barnett I apologise for this being a little risque but I promise it's true...one of my secondary schools sent me a report into an accident in which a student had been whacked by a racquet when her classmates were larking about in a PE lesson. The teacher's report stated that "girls have been reminded to respect equipment and only hit the balls."

Posted By Pat Burns One of the accident forms i received in my early days at my current workplace was a rating stepping into a shower without checking the water temperature first. He indicated with a cross between the legs on the company form that he had scalded his groin area. The ships safety officer annotated the following corrective action. "Check temperature and Wear Hard Hat whilst in Shower." As you can gather there was a distinct lack of humour shown by management when the form was sent ashore.

Posted By Nick Higginson OK Here goes: We have recently had an employee scratched by a cat whilst picking up a remote control from under a disabled lady's bed. Managers comments: Nick, I am "scratching" around for remedial actions from this "catastrophe". I have spoken to ***** and he is "feline" fine now. Also had one in the past "Meter reader bitten by dog while trying to attract farm owner" I can see this thread developing....... Regards, Nick

Posted By Zyggy Turek I hope that I am not lowering the tone, but.... I investigated an incident where an employee was exposed to a slight release of natural gas in the open air. When I visited him at home his wife informed me that on the evening of the incident they went out in the car & he started passing wind. However,it was not his "normal wind", but as you would find if you had left a pilot light unlit on a gas cooker! I immediately saw the commercial prospects, but unfortunately all the baked bean manufacturers would not back the project! Zyggy.

Posted By Mark Dutton Looking at the responses has brightened a bad day. I hope I do not get struck off for this one, but an engineer had an accident whilst fixing the aerial on the works transit van. It sprang back and hit him in the privates. He spent a week off sick with vanaerial disease.

Posted By Maggie Atterbury Thanks all of you for brightening what was avery dull day. I would like to contribute my favourite which was not on an accident form but on Violent Incident report from a teacher: "the intruder walked away from me down the corridor and ignored me in a threatening way". Maggie Atterbury

Posted By Bryn Maidment Another laugh - couple of weeks ago had to investigate a visitor who was hit by a fairly fresh pigeon carcass that fell out of the sky. Resulted in shock, broken glasses, broken nose, feathers all over her and a ruined coat. Pest control operatives (young and larking about) clearing dead pigeons from a nearby roof and one of 'em decided to throw this dead'un at his oppo, who dodged it. BASE jumping dead pigeon left 4 storey roof hit her square in the face . Have the complaint and the incident form - now awaiting the claim! Couple of others from my past.... "hit by cupboard that fell off wall...only put up yesterday but her screws weren't long enough"...... "slipped on sandwich" and under name of assailant "M & S Chicken Tikka sandwich" Typo following a bath incident "nature of injury - burnt bullocks"

Posted By Zyggy Turek Further to my previous response I also remember when contractors were painting a gas holder when a can of "empty" paint hit the windscreen of a passing car. When asked if they had a safe system of work for disposing of empty cans the foreman insisted that indeed they did. He then explained that before he threw the can down...he whistled! So, it was obviously the drivers fault for having his radio on or not having his window open.