Rank: Super forum user 
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Dear old Lord Young has been the subject of considerable scorn here in the real world.
To assist him in his deliberations, maybe we forum members could list the various HSE publications that we feel his lordship should remove from the statute books. I’ve started a list and invite forum users to add to it (apologies if this has already been done!):
Management of Health & Safety in Schools (Conkers) Regulations 1996
Fairground Safety Regulations 2001 (Candyfloss stick amendment) 2002
Control of Toothpicks Hazardous to Health Regulations 2000
Guidance for Licensing Authorities for Remembrance Parades (excuse not to bother) Regulations 1998
Village Fetes Regulations 1988
Work at Height (OMG!, Is that a ladder you are planning to use) Regulations 2005
Pressure Systems Safety (safe release of hot air emitted by vote catching MPs & lazy Journalists) Approved Code of Practice 2009
Christmas Decorations in Public Places Regulations (Bah! Humbug! Amendment) 2004
Safety Signs (control of nuts in nut products) Regulations 1993
Guidance on designating peanuts as nuts (pedant amendment) 1996
Memorandum of Guidance of the Hanging Baskets Regulations 1989
Management of Health & Safety on Paths In Wintertime (clearing & gritting) Regulation 1997
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Rank: Guest 
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Ruth Doyle is having a heart attack, Walker
Brilliant post. Steve Granger has now got two posts in contention for post of the year.
roglmao
:0)
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Rank: Forum user
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The Health and Safety (I don't want to do this, although I'm allowed to, so I'll blame Health and Safety) Regulations 2006
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Rank: Super forum user
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The Entertainment (banning of throwing sweets at the audience) Regulations, 2002
The Compulsory Evacuation of Buildings During Power Cuts (even in broad daylight) Regulations, 2000
The Prohibition of Bringing Cake to Work (if you made it at home) Regulations, 2001
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Rank: Forum user 
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The Construction, Design and Management (Snowmen) Regulations 2007
The Prevention of injury to children (wrap them in cotton wool) Order 2001
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Rank: Super forum user
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Education and training for second generation progenitor matriarchs (removal of avian foetal material from ovoid receptacles) by the application of oral vacuum techniques Regulations 2012
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Rank: Super forum user 
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The Employee Insurance (I'm not insured to do that) Act 1992
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Rank: Forum user
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The General Office Applications (Carriage of hot liquids ammendments) Regulations 2001
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Rank: Super forum user 
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Occupiers Liability (avoiding clearance of snow from footways) Act 1984
and
Highways (avoiding clearance of snow from footways) Act 1984
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Rank: Super forum user 
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Employment Miscellaneous (Open Coffers For No-win No-fee Bandits) Regulations 1996
Great thread from some great wits.
Some enterprising soul should collate these and submit it to the Press on March 31st, embargoed until the following day. Someone may even print it.
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Rank: Super forum user 
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The this horrible job has a minor health and safety aspect to it so I am going to dump it on the Health an Safety Manager's desk Act
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Rank: Super forum user
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On a slightly different tack, I call on Lord Young to reinstate the Gut Scraping, Tripe Dressing etc. Welfare Order 1920, if only to clarify the meaning of 'etc.'.
And don't get me started on the Herring Curing (Norfolk & Suffolk) Welfare Order 1920. What did Grimsby ever do to anybody!
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Rank: Super forum user 
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stuff4blokes wrote:Some enterprising soul should collate these and submit it to the Press on March 31st, embargoed until the following day. Someone may even print it.
Too late stuff4blokes, isn't that what the "Your Freedom" website is already doing?
;-P
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Rank: Super forum user 
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The Control of Media (why have those nasty journalists got it in for me) Regulations
The Health and Safety "Professional" Licensing (I know I'm competent, it's everybody else who isn't, (although of course I have no evidence to prove this but saying it supports my argument) so if this is enacted and the "profession" is regulated it will mean more business for me) Act
The Control of Litigation (every compensation claim is completely spurious and therefore should be banned because it can't possibly be true that some employers are negligent, and anyway it must be the injured party's own fault that they got hurt. either that or they got hurt deliberately in order to finance their annual holday) Regulations.
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Rank: Guest
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pl53,
You've been reading too much of Lord Gnomes Private Eye
;0)
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Rank: Super forum user
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The Working Time (you will only work 48 hours per week - unless you want to keep your job) Regulations 1998
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Rank: Super forum user
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Human Rights (unless you are the victim) Act 1998
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Rank: Super forum user
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If it's the Private Eye I used to read as a tax dodging student I might just go out and buy a copy.
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Rank: Guest
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Well I buy it every fortnight over here, even if the robbing sods add 78 cents to the cost
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Rank: Super forum user
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That's the problm with the Eurozone. I did some work in Newry 3 years ago, installing a new printing press for International News and Media (I think that was the name) and stayed in a brand new hotel over the border. Awfully confusing using sterling during the day and euros in the evening>
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Rank: Super forum user
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That's the problm with the Eurozone. I did some work in Newry 3 years ago, installing a new printing press for International News and Media (I think that was the name) and stayed in a brand new hotel over the border. Awfully confusing using sterling during the day and euros in the evening.
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Rank: Super forum user
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Don't know why it's posted twice
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Rank: Super forum user 
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The above spoofs pale in the knowledge that it is still legal for a child of 5 to drink alcohol at home or in other private premises. Children under 5 are only allowed to drink alcohol on the advice of a doctor - for health reasons!
Won't be telling my daughter, who is 5 in three weeks' time.....
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Rank: Forum user
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You have to remember that until the 19th century it was quite risky to drink water. Wine, mead, beer and spirits had been filtered and all the bugs got out of it before you drank it.
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Rank: New forum user
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Prohibition of duck feeding (health and safety) regulations 2010 - I saw the notice in a hotel in Suffolk
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Rank: Super forum user
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True David, but this was the 1933 Act. Just never got properly repealed.
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Rank: Super forum user
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Some one forgot to mention The Restraint of Guide Dogs on Public Transport Regulations 2009
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Rank: Guest
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MartinW,
Reminds me of the time my four year old sister drank poteen thinking it was white lemonade. Parents face was a picture when they called the doctor who pronounced her drunk.
Also reminds me how sore my arse was afterwards.
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Rank: Super forum user
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Originally Posted by: Ciará  MartinW,
Reminds me of the time my four year old sister drank poteen thinking it was white lemonade. Parents face was a picture when they called the doctor who pronounced her drunk.
Also reminds me how sore my arse was afterwards.
Ciaran, I'm afraid I find your language offensive on a forum such as this. Don't you mean "parents' faces"?
Please think before you post.
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Rank: Guest
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I meant as in parents face (i.e. one parents face). Didn't realise we were being picked up on grammar here and what language?
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Rank: Super forum user
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Apologies, Ciaran. I wasn't offended at all. Just a poor attempt at humour.
Mods, can someone delete that previous post of mine, please.
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Rank: New forum user
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The Prohibition of Pushchairs in Cafes (actually we’re greedy and need the space!) Regulations 2001
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Rank: Forum user
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safetyamateur wrote:Apologies, Ciaran. I wasn't offended at all. Just a poor attempt at humour.
Mods, can someone delete that previous post of mine, please.
I got it Safetyamateur, it was poor though!! ;)
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Rank: Super forum user 
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The Cruelty to Plastic Ducks (Races) Regulations
The PPE is in the van (White) Regulations
The "it will never happen to me" (Eternal Optimist) Regulations
The Non - Application of Plasters on Children Regulations
The Protection of Candyfloss Stick Regulations
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Rank: Super forum user
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The design risk management (leave it to the contractor) Act.
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Rank: New forum user
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Workplace Health & Safety Welfare (stop playing with the air conditioning I’m to hot, I’m to cold) Regulations 1992
I was Injured at Work by Not Following the Safe System (but I'll make a claim regardless) Regulations 1995
Fat Cat Solicitors (lets blame everyone but my client) Act 1994
Be Careful When Making a Cuppa (yes, there's really hot water in that kettle) Regulations 1986
Mind the Stairs (honestly, is no different than being at home) Order 2001
Be Mindful of your fingers (when eating your sandwich at lunch) Regulations 2008
Obnoxious Gasses From Colleagues (after a long weekend) Regulations 1983
Great post, think we need to keep this one going!!
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Rank: Forum user 
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Just a few more.
Display Team Equipment (Red Arrows) Non-Vibration Regulations 2010
Control of Paint Hazardous to Health (Entry to Bus) Regulations 1990 now superseded by the Council Directive 92/666/EEC of 1 May 1995 on the Prohibition of Gold Painting of Articles during Transposition, incorporating, of course, the Paints and Colours (Prohibition on Buses) Regulations 1994
Yarn Spinning (Daily Mail) (Mendacious) Regulations 1886-2010
The Potty (Review of Health and Safety Regulations) (Amendment) Regulations 1993
The offices, shops, railway and council premises (closed) Act 2010
Order of the Secretary of State (No 1) relating to Compressed HSE funds in Administration minus Oil-Gas 1898
Miscellaneous Fines (Explosive) (Board Directors) Regulations 1959
More to follow?
Nigel
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Rank: Forum user
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I've Been Doing it This Way for Years and Not Had an Accident Regulations 1994
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Rank: Super forum user
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The Elf ‘N’ Safety Banning Fun Act 1974
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Rank: Super forum user
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Whilst dear old Lord Young is doing his stuff he might as well get rid of NEBOSH (Nobody Ever Believes Or Sees Hazards) training, as the world is full of safety 'experts' who will happily advise those with genuine qualifications on how to manage health and safety in the workplace.
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