Posted By Heather Aston For those of you not reading the stress thread, it's been suggested (good idea Merv!) that I repost this in its very own thread. Anyone got any others? "We are the unwilling led by the unknowing, doing the impossible for the ungrateful. We have done so much for so long with so little that we're now qualified to do anything with nothing"

Posted By Karen Todd I like the one that has the line in it about having the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people you had to kill today because they p*ssed you off! I think it is called Prayer for the Stressed. There is another one, but I can't remember how it goes. It is about people who are a combination of clever or stupid, and lazy or productive. I think it says something about the one who is stupid but productive being the most dangerous of all, but to make the one who is clever and lazy a general. Karen

Posted By Kate Graham The quote-book seems dodgy to me as Petronius Arbiter (at least if they mean the famous satirist of that name) died (by the emperor's order) in the reign of Nero which was several decades AD, not 210 BC. Kate

Posted By Sean Fraser Kate, My quote was only as good as it's source and I can't remember where I got it from now! Where's me fiddle . . .?

Posted By Marc Someone once told me " if you can smile when the s&*t hits the fan it means you have someone to blame" Marc..

Posted By Kate Graham Well done, Heather - so not only is the date impossible, but Petronius never even wrote it!

Posted By James Byatt "Who's the more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him" - Obi Wan Kenobi 1977 Loosely translated as "who's the biggest muppet, the guy who writes an insufficient and unsuitable risk assessment or the fool who follows it.... Of course, he also said; "The many truths we cling to depend greatly on our point of view" Might be one for Richard and Lew on the "stress" thread... James

Posted By Neil Harvey Don't forget this one - "If" by Rudyard Kipling: If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you But make allowance for their doubting too, If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don't deal in lies, Or being hated, don't give way to hating, And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream--and not make dreams your master, If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breath a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you; If all men count with you, but none too much, If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds' worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it, And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

Posted By Heather Aston Fats If you think THAT was a flame then you need to get out more! I certainly don't have that much time on my hands, it's just that being female I can do three things at once.... (waits with baited breath....) Heather

Posted By Heather Aston Martin Yep Roman satirists is my specialist subject (not) Actually it took me 30 seconds on Google - now there's a useful tool, which I (seriously) do find invaluable for keeping ahead of the game in our ever-changing world. Of course the CEO doesn't write the policy - he has me to do that for him. However I like to think he believes in it ;) Heather "I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message"

Posted By James Byatt Heather, Was that the beginning of another quote? "Don't poke sleeping tigers..... ....unless you've got a big stick ready if they wake up?" Point taken though. :-) True quote - MD of unnamed company 1998 Safety Advisor - "We need to buy more fire extinguishers, these ones ar over 4 years out of date" M.D. - "Can't we just peel the stickers off and put new ones on..." PS I don't work there any more... James

Posted By Karen Todd James, Here's one for you from MD of un-named company, 2001: "If they had of moved that angle iron when I told them to, I would never have driven over it and burst my tyre". That gem won "Excuse of the Year" at our Christmas awards do... Karen

Posted By James Byatt Nice one Karen, Here's another: Un-named MD - 2000 - at Monthly Board Meeting "Welcome to our new Safety Manager, I'd like to reiterate that safety is top of this company's agenda.....please turn your attention to todays agenda items....(Safety was number 5, just above A.O.B!) Sorry chaps, not really a Mantra buut hey, it's Friday... And on top of that it's the 13th so make sure your risk assessments are up to date for walking under ladders, putting new shoes on the table, kicking black cats, breaking mirrors, killing spiders, etc etc... No hijacking intended Heather :-) James

Posted By Kate Graham At the risk of further offending the worrying number of people without the benefit of a classical education, I thought our slogan was supposed to be "mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa". Kate

Posted By Heather Aston Glad to see we've started something.... Laurie - not heard that one before - love it! James - I'm not posessive about threads that I start honest, I was just trying to stop you poking tigers with sticks! Kate - I only did Latin not Greek, does that count as semi-classical? Keep smiling everyone Heather "How do I set a laser printer to stun?"

Posted By James Byatt Signed: J. Clarkson

Posted By Bill Elliott Karen - Yes I've seen that one - but in Latin. "illigitamus non tatum carborundum". For all you Latin scholars out there - I have NO idea if that is correct!!

Posted By John Allen "Semper in excretum" is another Latin one I've always found appropriate!

Posted By Simone Plaut I thought that was fab but i also like this one: "safety is a journey not a destination, rather like those cross channel ferries where you dont get off in calais because you are only there for the booze....."

Posted By Mark Bywater Continuing the Latin idea, I think it was good old Spike Milligan himself who said that "non compus mentis" translates as "we did not mean to build a compost heap". My god we need more people like him in H&S. Sadly missed. Good thread guys.