I plead guilty yer 'onner for releasing christmassongs II, I would like the following offences to be taken into consideration:
Rudolph the red nosed reindeer


Rudolph, the red-nosed reindeer
had a very shiny nose.
And if you ever saw him,
you would even say it glows.

You are advised that under the Equal Opportunities for All policy, it is
inappropriate for persons to make comment with regard to the ruddiness of
any part of Mr. R. Reindeer. Further to this, exclusion of Mr R Reindeer
from the Reindeer Games will be considered discriminatory and disciplinary
action will be taken against those found guilty of this offence. A full
investigation will be implemented and sanctions - including suspension on
full pay - will be considered whilst this investigation takes place.


Little Donkey

Little donkey, little donkey on the dusty road
Got to keep on plodding onwards with your precious load

The RSPCA have issued strict guidelines with regard to how heavy a load that
a donkey of small stature is permitted to carry, also included in the
guidelines is guidance regarding how often to feed the donkey and how many
rest breaks are required over a four hour plodding period. Please note that
due to the increased risk of pollution from the dusty road, Mary and Joseph
are required to wear face masks to prevent inhalation of any airborne
particles. The donkey has expressed his discomfort at being labelled 'little
and would prefer just to be simply referred to as Mr. Donkey. To comment
upon his height or lack thereof may be considered an infringement of his
equine rights.


We Three Kings

We three kings of Orient are
Bearing gifts we traverse afar
Field and fountain, moor and mountain
Following yonder star

Whilst the gift of gold is still considered acceptable - as it may be
redeemed at a later date through such organisations as 'cash for gold' etc,
gifts of frankincense and myrrh are not appropriate due to the potential
risk of oils and fragrances causing allergic reactions. A suggested gift
alternative would be to make a donation to a worthy cause in the recipient’s
name or perhaps give a gift voucher.
We would not advise that the traversing kings rely on navigation by stars in
order to reach their destinations and suggest the use of RAC route finder or
satellite navigation, which will provide the quickest route and advice
regarding fuel consumption. Please note as per the guidelines from the RSPCA
for Mr Donkey, the camels carrying the three kings of Orient will require
regular food and rest breaks. Facemasks for the three kings are also
advisable due to the likelihood of dust from the camels hooves.

Away in a Manger No Crib for a bed - Contact Social services immediately!!!!

On a more serious note we regually see gripes about our profession taking a knock how about using these funnies to poke back on a training theme and especially in the press. We put ourselves in line of fire with the conker challenge so why not with the funnies sneaking estimated no. of injuries prevented?

A bit early but, MERRY (& Safe) XMAS everyone

Badger

Smurf
Didn't want to lose the link I had found. Anyway, we now know where The Wogan has been lifting his naff steak 'n Hasty stories from if hes' lifted from my first posting on the subject.


Badger